


Running From My Past

by AnxietyThanksToSociety



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Tragedy, Anxiety, Awkward Romance, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff and Angst, Gay, Other, POV Multiple, Romantic Fluff, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2019-06-23 22:11:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 24,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15616107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnxietyThanksToSociety/pseuds/AnxietyThanksToSociety
Summary: I'm not here for the reasons you think I am. Hopefully you never do find out the real reason for my sudden appearance. It would ruin everything. Set directly after Thomas's video "Can LYING be Good"





	1. Insufferable Emo Nightmare

I sank down and appeared back in the mindspace. Today's video had been very confusing for all of us. Deceit had come back, man I hadn't seen that guy in years, usually he just stayed in the dark part of the mind. That's where all of the 'Dark Sides' lived. As far as I knew it was a dirty city with very little sunlight, filled with despair. How anyone could live like that, I wasn't sure.

"I'm going to go bake some cookies to celebrate our new video!" Patton cried. I was glad that we had Patton back and I almost ran up to hug the father figure. Logan was also in the room, near the bookcase picking out something new to read. Finding one that fit his specifications, he followed Patton to the kitchen. "Wanna help, Roman?"

While I hated to tell Patton no, there was something I needed to attend to. I politely declined his offer and promised to help next time.

Virgil hadn't showed up in the living room which meant he had taken the extra energy to pop up somewhere else. Possibly his room. I made my way down the hallway that housed Logan's, Patton's, and my rooms. Occasionally Virgil's would be there too but his door tended to roam, as if it wasn't sure where he belonged.

Technically we could live anywhere but most of the time we just lived in the house. Each of us had our own room but we shared the living room and kitchen. The lesser light sides lived in similar ways. As the main sides we worked together closely so it made sense that we lived together.

I was glad when I saw Virgil's door a few feet down from mine. It was pitch black and was newly adorned with a purple thundercloud. I rapped my knuckles lightly on the wood.

"Virgil? Are you in there?" I nervously fiddled with my sash. I couldn't hear anything in the room but that didn't mean he wasn't ignoring me. "Virgil please. I need to talk to you." There was a small shuffle of feet before the door opened.

He had his hood up and his bangs hung low over his eyes. He gave me a look before removing his big black headphones from one ear. "What do you want, Princey?" I smiled at him. He had redone his makeup since the video, his face was paler and his eye bags were darker then ever.

"I came to check up on you after... uh the video. You seemed a little off today," I tried. He pulled his hood farther down his face.

"What's it matter to you? I'm Anxiety, I'm always off," he snarled. He did have a point I guess. I didn't know what to say.

"Well I was just making sure, Verge. You just seemed different. It's not another bad day is it?" Some days his anxiety spiked, either for no reason or because Thomas had something stressful going on. These days we tried to help. Patton would take him to the kitchen and talk and bake for hours. Logan would bring him to the library and read him those dreadful Brothers Grimm's Fairy tales. When the other two were busy I took him to the garden. We would sit under the Willow while I sang or talked, earning a few grunts or mumbled song lyrics from him.

"No. I'm fine," He grumbled. I took a second to process that as he tried to close the door. I placed my foot in front of it to stop him. "Go away, Princey." I pushed a strand of hair out of my face and shoved the door open. I stalked in.

"We both know that's a lie, Anx." He frowned before closing the door behind me. Being in the others' rooms always shocked me. The walls were a deep purple and covered in posters for bands and Patton's card was set up on his dresser. His sheets were dark purple and black plaid with an MCR throw pillow right in the middle. A laptop sat on the nightstand. 

"Okay fine. I'm Anxiety, I'm never fine but I'm normal. So there is no need for you to come barging into my room like you own the place." He tugged on the hood of his sweatshirt. "Which means get out."

"Verge I just want to talk about..... about today. Your hiding something and I just want to find out what. Please. I can see that something is bothering you." I reached out to him but he jumped away.

"Don't touch me! I'm fine now get out!" He was almost shouting now. I backed up a few steps, not wanting to set off an attack. The door creaked open and Patton peeked in.

"Hey kiddos. Everything alright in here?" he asked. I looked over at Virgil.

"Yeah Virgil, is everything alright?" I knew that if I made it seem like Anxiety was having trouble then Patton would try to help and there was no way Virgil could easily lie to Patton. He groaned and pulled on his hood again. I was afraid that if he tugged any harder his head would rip a hole in it.

"I'm fine but someone won't get out of my room!" Patton now turned on me with his disappointing frown.

"Now Roman, you know Virgil likes his space and each of us are entitled to our own areas. If he doesn't want you near him then you should back off a bit." I gave a small nod and turned back to Virgil.

"Fine but if you need anything then I'm here," I promised. He sat down on his bed.

"Yeah because I'll definitely come running to you, Princey," he mocked. "Just like every other distressed princess in need of saving tries to find condolence in a half witted prince." I was done. He could insult me all he wanted but when he insulted princes, he crossed the line.

"Then be just like every other villain, sit there and sulk when things don't go your way." I regretted the words as soon as they came out of my mouth but I bit my tongue and pushed past Patton to leave.

I stormed into the kitchen causing Logan to look up from his book. I grabbed a soft, warm cookie from the stove and leaned heavily against the counter with a huff. I angrily bit into it.

"Insufferable Emo Nightmare," I muttered. Logan gave a slight chuckle before adjusting his glasses and returning to his book.


	2. How Could They?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight start of a panic attack.It's not too bad but I just wanted to warn ya'll. Enjoy!

He showed up as soon as Patton left, appearing suddenly in the corner of my room, the way only dark sides did.

"You know you can't keep hiding it from them," he teased. I sighed as I turned to the yellow gloved, top hat wearing side. Most of the Fanders thought that Deceit could only lie and that was the case in the real world but in the mindscape he could say anything he wanted. It didn't mean that most words out of his mouth weren't lies though. "It's been years Anxiety, the Boss is getting.....well..... anxious." His mouth curved into a wicked grin.

"You being here isn't going to help anything," I snapped. "They've only just started to trust me." He moved over to the dresser an picked up my card. The simple card that Patton had given me after the video that I had decided to duck out on. I balled my fists at my side.

"Was that Patton that just left? He's always so overly cheery. It was a pain to disguise as that sappy fool." I stalked over to him and grabbed the card out of his hands.

"Well that's just the pain you'll have to live with," I snarled as I set the card back up so it would display Morality's crayon drawings. Deceit gave a low chuckle.

"Look who's getting gutsy. Last I remember of you was a scared little child who did whatever the big boys did. You wouldn't dare speak to me like that if we were back home." I flinched at his words. Home. I hadn't thought about that place in forever. When I had first ended up in the light sides section I had longed to go back to normalcy. It was too bright and everyone was staring at me, talking about my clothes and hair. Now I couldn't imagine living anywhere else but here with Patton and Logan and Roman.

"People change Deceit. Look at you. You used to be a low life and see where you are now." Deceit's grin turned into a frown. I knew I had tapped a nerve. Deceit had always hated any mention of his past. He surged forward and grabbed the front of my hoodie.

"And you'll remember that I am the real second in command, no matter what relations you have to him. We want results and if you can't bring them then maybe it's time that your replaced." With that he threw me to the ground where I sat on my hands and knees. My bangs fell farther into my face, obscuring my vision.

"I may not have power but at least I'm not fawning over one person for years only to get ignored and treated as merely a friend." If my last statement had tapped a nerve, this one had full on punched it. I tensed as he lashed out, kicking me over and over again. I lay on the ground using my hands to cover my face. He grabbed my hair and pulled my head up to whisper in my ear.

"Don't you ever suggest anything like that again or I'll throw you into Forgetfullness myself." He released me and I fell to the ground with a groan. "Your letting them get to you, change you. The Boss won't be happy, Anx. They don't care for you. How could they? Your a disease, a disorder, a burden. You belong with us." He took the card from its place and ripped it in two pieces. He let the pieces drop to the floor as he disappeared. 

I crawled over to where they fell, pain flaring through my torso and it hurt to breathe. The rip went straight down the figure that represented me. I hugged the pieces to my chest an let the tears cascade down my face as the thoughts attacked my brain. Villain. Disorder. Disease. Burden.


	3. For You, Emo Nightmare

I pulled my hood over my head and moved my bangs to cover more of my face. I had reapplied my makeup to cover my black eye. Luckily the rest were covered with my hoodie and my chest had taken the worst of the beating.

My anxiety was high today. My conversation with Deceit last night was probably causing most of it. What if he was right? How could anyone care about me, especially if they found out the real reason I was here? I should stop putting it off, get it over with, do what I came here to do and regain my place but something held me back. I was hesitant to follow through. Could I really do that to them? To Thomas?

I sat on my bed and stared at the pieces of my card. Patton's drawings may be childish but he had put all of his heart into it. I connected the two sides to complete the picture. If only everything could be fixed like that.

There was a knock on the door that made me jump. I quickly bolted up and shoved the parts of the card under my pillows. I flicked my hood up to my face and ran a hand through my bangs. There was more knocking. I raced over and prayed that whoever it was didn't realize what had happened. I cracked the door open to see Roman on the other side.

"Greetings Virgil." Then his face dropped when he saw mine. "Are you alright?" Oh no, did he see a bruise? Did I miss one? No no no no no.

"I'm fine," I snapped as I pulled my hood down farther.

"No, your not Virgil, I can tell. It's another bad day isn't it?" I contemplated on what to tell him. A small part of me wanted to tell him everything but the rational one knew that I couldn't. So instead I just nodded. It would be good to have a distraction today.

"Well Logan is working on a project and Patton is with Thomas, so would you like to go to the garden? If not I'm sure Patton or Logan would put on hold what they are doing." I sighed before nodding again.

"I don't want to bother anyone," I muttered. He pushed the door open wider so that I could step out.

"Nonsense your not going to bother anyone. While I don't like the reason behind these occasions they are quite relaxing and I enjoy them." I shoved my hands in my pockets as we walked down the hallway and out the front door.

"And it's a lovely day, all the flowers are starting to bloom and the birds are chirping." I nodded as he talked, focusing on hiding my slight limp. Technically we could make any day a lovely one in the mind space but sometimes I liked to watch it rain. Or other times Thomas' emotions influenced the weather.

We walked down the path side by side with Princey pointing out flowers and making comments on their size, type, and color. "Oh look at this one!" He strolled off the path and picked the flower in question. It was a purple rose so dark that it was almost black. He knelt in front of me and held out the flower.

"For you, Emo Nightmare." He smiled and I blushed as I slowly wrapped my fingers around it's stem, careful not to let any of the thorns puncture me. He laughed as I lifted it to my face and sniffed, the sweet fragrance overtook my senses. I gave Roman a small smirk before he turned around.

A flash of yellow caught my eyes and I frowned. No, he couldn't be here, not now. My heart rate sped up and I took a sharp breathe. Deceit gave me a grin as he saw me looking at him. Don't get too close, he mouthed before he gave a silent laugh and disappeared.

"Virgil?" I snapped around to see Princey looking at me with concern. "Are you alright?" I nodded before following him to the usual spot underneath the concealing branches of the weeping willow. I waited until he turned his back to me before slowly sitting down. It was painful to move too fast but I didn't want Roman to see. He would ask too many questions. Roman also sat down in the grass.

"What were you doing in my room anyways, Princey?" Not many times did they ever come there. Especially since my door moved a lot. I'm not sure why or how but sometimes I would leave my room only to find it in a different hallway when I came back. That meant that he had been searching for me.

"I wanted to apologize for what I said yesterday. I didn't mean any of it, I was confused and desperate. Your not a villain. You are important to us and I'm really sorry. So so sorry. Especially if what I said is the reason that your anxiety has spiked today." I was shocked. Princey was apologizing? Patton must have put him up to this, there was no way. I closed my eyes and let the sounds of the garden wash over me.

"It's okay. I know you were angry with me. I'm used to it. Your not causing this either if it helps."

"Then what is the reason?" he asked. I kept my eyes closed as I debated on what to tell him. definitely not the truth. God, I sounded like Deceit.

"I dunno why," I lied. He would take that answer because sometimes anxiety really wasn't rational. He let out a small sigh at my words. I brought my knees to my chest and he scooted closer until we were about a foot apart.

"Did you get any sleep last night?" I shook my head. There was no use in lying about that. He closed the space between us and wrapped his arms around me. I flinched at his touch, causing my torso to feel like knives were piercing it. "I'm sorry," he whispered before starting to pull away.

"No, it's okay," I assured. He nodded before wrapping his arms back around me. He started to hum a tune and I let myself fall into his voice.

"When I see your smile," he sang. "Tears run down my face. I can't replace and now that I'm strong I have figured out, how this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul." He glanced down at me and continued to sing. I didn't know this song but it didn't matter to me. I had opened my eyes to watch him. Princey was kinda cute when he sang, putting all of his focus and all of his heart into the song.

"I will never let you fall. I'll stand up with you forever. I'll be with you through it all. Even if saving you sends me to heaven." I smiled and leaned my head onto his shoulder.

I forgot all about Deceit's warning as I fell asleep to Roman's singing.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Song- Your Guardian Angel by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus


	4. Maybe One Day

I ran my hands through Virgil's hair as he slept. Quietly I sang the lyrics that I was too afraid to tell him. I whispered them in his ear.

"'Cuz you're my....... you're my.......my.......my true love. My whole heart. Please don't throw that away. 'Cuz I'm here for you. Please don't walk away and please tell me you'll stay." I softly finished the rest of the song before resting my head on top of Virgil's. I may have lied about Patton and Logan being busy. I didn't even know what they were doing but it was worth it, I thought before drifting off to sleep.

 

The sun was setting when I woke up. How long had I been asleep? Virgil and I had come to the garden at about noon. Virgil. I twisted my head to see him missing. I alarmingly stood up and looked around.

"Virgil?!" I called. He didn't seem to be anywhere in the garden. I took another step forward and felt something under my foot. I jumped back, praying it wasn't something alive that would attack me. Seeing it was not alive, I bent down to pick it up.

It was a single white rose with tips of gold and vibrant red. One of the most beautiful flowers I had ever seen and in my favorite colors. But how had it gotten here? The flowers were all back at the path and the roses were towards the entrance.

That's when I noticed the piece of paper rolled and tied to the stem. I unwrapped it and read;

Princey,

I'm fine so don't panic. I headed back to the house but I didn't want to wake you, you seemed like you needed the sleep. Thanks for helping me with today. I know it can't be easy dealing with me but thanks. I really needed a break.

\- Emo Nightmare

I smiled to myself and pocketed the note. Maybe one day I could bring him here on a good day, just to hang out. I imagined what I would do and tried to imagine what he would say while twirling the rose in between my fingers. I sighed before giving up and heading back through the garden.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sorry for such a short chapter but I promise the next one will be good.


	5. As Good as You Need Me to Be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning- Mention of self harm scars. Another short one sorry.

"Ah, Deceit! How did your little check up go?" He was seated at a throne in the center of the room. The throne itself looked like it was made out of black smoke, created by his influence over the dark part of the mindscape. The figure was in the seat with the hood of his ever present hoodie up and his bangs hanging in his face.

"It was very.....enlightening," I decided. He gave a chuckle before standing up. Seeing Anxiety again had shocked me because of how similar they looked. Of course we all had the same face, Thomas's face, but each of us had defining characteristics. They had the same hair, bangs covering their eyes, dark clothing, and hoodies. They even wore the same style of makeup. Anxiety's eyeshadow was smeared down while his ringed his eye and then appeared to melt down his cheek.

"Absolutely disgusting then?" he asked. I smiled as he did.

"Horrifyingly so," I agreed. He turned toward the window which overlooked the dismal city. Crowded and dirty streets between tiny gray shacks. That was where the lesser dark sides lived. I shook away the memories of being one of them.

"And our dear Anxiety? Anything new or a reason for his quietness over the years?" I swallowed, trying to decide if I should tell him the truth. His moods were always unpredictable and violent. Giving him the news would certainly trigger one but if I did lie to him and he found out about it...

"Anxiety is....... well different. I guess." He turned back to me, puzzled.

"How so?" he asked. My gloved hands fiddled with the brim of my hat. I didn't want to tell him and my personality was fueling that.

"He's changed.He's more like them. I think we should end this now before it goes any farther. I was spying on him earlier today. He was with the creative one. They were in the garden, laughing and smiling." He worriedly ran his hands through his hair and turned back to the dark view.

"That's not possible, Anxiety can't be. Are you sure he's not acting the part? Going along with the crowd like he always does?"

"I'm positive of it. When I visited him last night he got very defensive of Morality, when I mentioned his name, Anx snapped at me," I added. He walked over to me, his face now dangerously close to mine. I could almost feel his breath on my cheek. "And he had a card, made by Morality, sitting on his dresser. It had childish drawings of him with the light sides, holding their hands," I muttered, disgusted. How could Anxiety just turn his back on his people like this?

He ran his hands through his hair again, exposing the lines of thin scars up and down his arms. "It's been years since we sent Anxiety on this mission and so far there's been nothing. I told you that we should have sent me in the first place."

"Quiet, Deceit. I need to think for a bit." I nodded and retreated to the door where I stood, waiting for his answer. Finally he set his hands at his side and spoke up.

"Fine then we will have to do this another way. Anx was obviously not strong enough to take on this mission and now they've........brainwashed him into believing that he can be one of them. Well it needs to end now. I'm done waiting to take over, we need to take action soon." He turned back to me with an evil gleam in his eyes. "How good have you gotten at imitating the other sides, Deceit?"

I smiled and chuckled.

"As good as you need me to be, Depression."


	6. Revisiting The Past

"Don't forget about the movie tonight!" Patton called as I left the kitchen. I smiled to myself. Movie nights were perfect, usually we watched Disney and of course there was popcorn. I didn't even have to talk to be considered as part of the group.

I made my way down the hallway only to see my door missing. I pulled my headphones up and turned on my music, full volume. I might as well jam out while I was on a door finding adventure. I started nodding my head along with the beat as I searched. Sometimes this journey took only a few minutes but this was not one of those times.

After over an hour I was still on the hunt. All I wanted was to be alone, on my bed, listening to my music and maybe doodling a bit but no, my room had other plans. Even my own home hated me.

I lost track of where I was when I found it. I sighed in relief before reaching forward to twist the knob. My stomach started to churn and my hand shook. I slowly pulled my hand away and turned. There almost a foot away from me was a dark tinted transparent wall. I pulled my headphones down and let the music flow out. No. Why did it lead me to this place? Now I was sure that the mindscape hated me.

As if I was in a trance, I stepped forward with my hand out. I was inches away when I stopped. Through the barrier I could see a small group of huts, barely even a town. Many of the shelters looked patched together from several materials. Some were tilted and I was afraid that a light breeze would knock them down. The few houses with windows had them locked tightly or were covered in bars.

Beyond the dismal scene was an elaborate castle made of dark stone. An iron fence shut the rest of the world out. These windows too were covered in bars. My hands started to tremble. Why out of all the places it could have gone? Why here? My breathing started to quicken. 

A scream pierced the still air, nothing unusual. My gaze went to the top spire of the castle. That was the throne room. I remembered gazing longingly out of that window for years during political meetings. I used to roam that building, finding quiet places to hide. That's the main reason I hated going to Roman's castle in his area of the mind. It was a shocking twin of the one I had grown up in. It mirrored every piece of this one but in a brighter scheme of white and gold and red. I had never told any of them this though and they just thought it was because it was always busy.

My heart skipped a beat as I thought I saw movement in the top window. I turned and raced to the door. He couldn't see me. I couldn't face him, not again. I slammed the door and flopped on the bed. I pulled my headphones back up over my ears and held the button until the music drowned out my thoughts.

He probably hadn't seen me or if he did he wouldn't recognize me. I had changed now, I was a main side, he couldn't do anything to me. There was no way, right? But I knew it wasn't true. I had felt it and he must have too, the old pang of being close to each other. Maybe he didn't recognize it after all these years. Maybe he too just liked looking out the window like I had.

I twisted over and shoved my head into my pillow. Why did it have to be me? I slowly fell asleep and prayed for dear life that he hadn't seen me and that my door would move again before I had to leave it.


	7. Disney Accidents

I woke up to a knock on my door. I sat up and pulled my headphones off, sometime while I was sleeping my phone had stopped playing for some reason. I sleepily set my head on my face and it came away wet. I raced to the mirror to see that I had been crying. My eyeshadow had run in great streaks down my cheek and my hair was stuck up in the back. I groaned as I grabbed a makeup wipe.

I was applying the white foundation before quickly grabbing my eyeshadow when the knocks became more rapid.

"One second," I called. I was drawing on the second line when the door squeaked open. I whirled around. Princey was in the doorway, his lips curled down into a frown.

"Is everything alright?" he asked. I nodded before turning back to the mirror and smearing around my eye.

"I'm fine. I said I would be there in a second, you didn't have to practically bust down my door," I muttered.

"Well Patton sent me to fetch you. Movie night was about to start but you weren't there." I finished and shoved all my supplies back into the bag. I hated being late, that means that everyone's eyes would be on me.

"Yeah sorry. I fell asleep." I walked out and waited for Princey to follow before closing the door. My eyes went immediately to where the border was or had been. It was gone, now just another corridor. I let go of the breath I didn't know I had been holding in. The feeling of being so close to him had vanished. 

"You don't need the makeup," Princey said, surprising me. "It's just us and Thomas going to be there." I thought about it but quickly dismissed the thought. I didn't wear makeup to feel good, although it did help, no I used it to hide my face. It covered all of my imperfections and my constant blushing. In a way it was my wall.

"Whatever," I shot back. We walked the rest of the way in silence.

When we walked into the living room, Logan and Patton were talking but stopped as they saw us. Patton smiled and stood up. 

"Yay! We're all here," he cried. I gave a small grin at his enthusiasm, although sometimes it was a little too much, I couldn't help but to love the Dad Character. I shrugged before heading for the stairs while the others went to their spaces, They sank down like usual while I waited. I didn't ever let them see how I entered the real world.

Darkness curled up from the corners of the room and moved in smoky tendrils towards me. I held my hands out and concentrated. I commanded the black clouds to cover me completely until I sank into the shadows. I opened my eyes again and found myself at the stairs in Thomas's actual living room.

I then headed to the couch where everyone else had collected and took my place on the edge, next to Roman but still a good foot apart.

"Hey Virge," Thomas greeted with a hand wave. I gave a nod to acknowledge him before getting out my phone. It's not that I didn't like hanging out with them but in social situations I had no idea how to act. So I pulled up Tumblr and began scrolling through it when they started the movie. Mulan, of course, Princey had been singing songs from it all day.

I smiled as Roman and Thomas sang along to every word. Thomas sat back and sang quietly while Roman belted out the lyrics with full hand motions and facial expressions. 

"My favorite one's coming up," Princey squealed. Of course Shang's song while trying to figure out if he was gay. I glanced down at my phone but paid more attention to the screen as Roman once again acted out the full song. I turned back to read a conspiracy theory on my phone as the song was nearing the end.

"Mysterious as the dark side of the moooooooon!" As he sang, Princey threw his hands out dramatically. He smacked my hands hard which caused them to fling back and hit my face, phone and all. There was a moment of silence before I felt the warm trickle of blood down my forehead. I dropped my phone in shock as my hands shook.

"Virgil! Virgil, oh my gosh. I'm so sorry. Virgil, please respond." I vaguely placed it as Roman's voice. My head hurt and it was so hard to keep my eyes open. Suddenly I was up on my feet running. I made it to the stairs where I sank down right before I blacked out.


	8. Sleep is for the Weak

I raced after him but he had disappeared before I could make it. Instead I turned to my spot by the T.V.

"Roman. Roman, calm down," Logan said. How could he logically think that I could calm down? I had just accidentally, in a Disney induced carelessness, punched Virgil in the face. Before I sank down I saw the small red dot on the carpet. Virgil's blood. Oh no. Virgil was always skittish around his own blood.

I made it to the mindscape's version of the living room. I headed straight for the hallway where I found him. He had passed out on the floor, right in front of Patton's door. I rushed to his side.

"Virgil. Virgil!" I shook his shoulder softly. He said nothing and didn't move. I almost threw up as I saw the pool of blood by his head. No, no, no. What was I supposed to do? What did you do for head trauma? Logan. Logan would know what to do. I needed to get him back to the living room. "I'm sorry, Virge," I whispered. I gently slid my arms under his knees and back, cradling him to me.

"Your pretty light, Virge," I muttered. That was something for another time though. I went as fast as I could without harming him anymore than I already had. I took my place for the third time today and sank down with him in my arms into the real world.

Logan and Patton were at Thomas's side, calming the boy down. I could only imagine how much his anxiety must have spiked. Their heads snapped up as they saw me. I stumbled forward as black spots danced in my vision. I somehow managed to get to the couch and set him down before collapsing myself.

"He's bleeding," Patton whimpered as his face paled. "Lo, what do we do?"Logan stepped forward and examined the wound. He frowned deeply.

"Thomas, I need some bandages. From what information I have he may have a slight concussion. I'm guessing he panicked as well and passed out. We need to try to wake him up though." Thomas soon came back with bandages and stuff to clean the cut. He handed them to Logan before sitting down beside me.

My breathing was ragged and I felt like I had just run a mile. What was wrong with me? I hadn't even carried Virgil that far and he was as light as a feather!

"Are you okay, Roman." It took me a few moments to catch my breath before I could answer Thomas.

"Yeah, yeah. It's Virgil I'm worried about. Although I am slightly drained." 

"That's what sinking down with two people will do to you," Logan chimed in. "You used your own strength to transport both you and Virgil into reality, while it is usually easy for you to do it puts more strain on yourself while carrying an unconscious person." That helped explain it. I rested my head back and tried to regain my composure. I watched as Logan tenderly wrapped Virgil's head before checking for a fever. Guilt blossomed through me. This is my fault, I had done this.

His eyes fluttered before slowly opening. His eyes trailed over all of us before staring forward. 

"How do you feel, Virgil?" Logan asked. His hands went up to the bandages on his head. He seemed shocked but then he accepted it.

"I've been worse," he muttered. His eyes started to close but he quickly opened them again. "Just really tired."

"That is expected from a head injury. I suggest that you don't sleep for a little while, it may make your head worse." Virgil gave a small chuckle. 

"Make my head worse, that's hilarious," he mumbled. I decided to ignore his self deprecation this time.

"How long does he need to stay awake?" Logan seemed to think as he muttered to himself. 

"Probably most of the night but he should be fine after a few hours." That didn't seem to hard for the emo that never actually slept through the night but he was already nodding off on the couch. There was no way he could stay up all night.

"I'll stay up with him. This is my fault, I feel like I should do it but you all need some sleep." Thomas had already nodded off next to me with his head dangerously close to my shoulder. The combined exhaustion of us must have made him really tired.

"Are you sure, Roman?" Patton was fiddling with the sleeves of his cat hoodie.

"Of course I am, you should get some sleep, Pat." Logan let out a tired sigh.

"Fine but let us know if anything happens. Come on Patton, let's get Thomas to bed." They gently woke him up and helped him to his room. I vaguely noticed them as they came back in and sank down. I turned back to Virgil.

"Hey no sleeping on me, Emo Nightmare. Don't you do this every night?" I tried to joke with him to lighten the mood a bit. He gave a sleepy yawn before mumbling something under his breath.

"Yeah well it gets harder the longer you stay up and a head injury makes it about ten times worse." He started to sit up but had to hold his hands out to balance himself. I lunged forward to try and help him but he waved me away. "You don't have to stay up with me, Princey, I'm fine really." He seemed to really want me gone and I couldn't really blame him.

"Nope you'll never stay awake if I leave and plus I want to help you. So what do you want to do?" He stared at the wall and shrugged. "We could watch some Disney movies or play a board game maybe?" He just nodded. I knew he wasn't good at picking but I still wanted to give him the choice. So I went to get a board game because I figured that watching T.V. probably wasn't the best for his head.

I searched the hall closet before plucking Monopoly off of the top shelf. Monopoly was always a long game so hopefully it would keep us up for a while. I closed the door and headed back for the couch. I saw that Virgil was nodding off again with his chin leaning on his chest. I set the game down and went to wake him. He jumped before calming down seeing that it was just me. 

"Come on Virge, sleep is for the weak," I tried. He nodded before sitting cross legged on the floor across from me. He shook his head slightly, trying to keep his eyes open. Man this was going to be a long night.


	9. Monopoly Money

Virgil showed no mercy. It was clear by the first twenty minutes that he would win but the game still went forward with him collecting money and me trying to delay the inevitable. Once he had set up hotels on almost every one of his properties I knew I was done for.

He smirked as he picked up his fake money hoard and put it back in the box. I glared at him as I went for the board since I now had nothing.

"You cheated," I declared. There was no way anyone could win that quick and efficiently. I set the board back in the box and closed the lid on top of it before sliding it off to the side.

"How do you cheat at Monopoly?" he asked, I shrugged because I really didn't know. If I did I would have won instead of being pounded into the dirt.

"I don't know but you did," I insisted as I crossed my arms and pouted. He leaned his head back on the couch. He stretched and yawned, reminding me of a cat.

"Nope your just a sore loser, Princey." I didn't know what else to say as he rubbed his eyes to try and stay awake. We needed something else to do before he passed out for good. I bit my lip as I brainstormed. Something loud but not too loud because he had a headache. Maybe something to get him up and moving. I snapped my fingers as I got an idea.

"Oh no, what's on your mind?" I ran over to grab my phone from the table.

"Just wait." I snagged my phone and searched the bookcase where I had last seen the speaker. I found it behind a POP! figure of Steven and a pizza plush. Virgil watched as I set it on the table and connected it to the phone. It took me a few seconds to find a song.

I smiled as the music filled the room. Anx groaned before looking at me.

"Really? What are you going to do, dance me to sleep?"

"No you're going to dance with me to stay awake." He started to protest but I cut him off as the song started. "Shut Up And Dance With Me!" I cried.

"Yeah no. I don't dance," he tried. I grabbed his wrist and pulled him to his feet.

"That's what everyone says but it's just us. You don't have to worry about how you look. Just let the yourself move with the music." He frowned and crossed his arms. I danced around him trying to get him to move. "Just keep your eyes on me. I said you're holding back. Shut up and dance with me!" I belted out the lyrics and grabbed his hands. They were cold and slightly clammy. I pulled him along with me until the song hit the final note.

"I feel dumb," he mumbled.

"So feel dumb but no one here will care how you look." The next song started to softly pour out of the speaker. He gave me one glare before I placed my hands on his waist and directed his around my neck.

"Princey," he warned. I could see a bright blush on his cheeks and mine started to heat up too.

"It's fine Virge, just dance." He seemed irritated but he didn't break away so I continued to sway as he followed. I mumbled the lyrics as we went. I relished being this close to him. I could feel his breath on my face and his hands at the back of my neck.

We swayed as the song carried on, him watching his feet and me staring at his face as I muttered the lyrics. The song ended too soon and we continued to dance to an imaginary beat. Finally he looked up and met my eyes.

"Princey, the song is over." I nodded and pulled away as the next song began, another fast one, but he hesitated before unhooking his hands from my neck. My breathe caught. "I'm going to sit down for a bit, my head hurts." I nodded as he plopped onto the floor.

To distract myself from the blush that I was sure was coating my face, I started to dance to the beat. I lost myself as I danced and sang, letting the music fill me. I was so into it that I didn't notice what Virgil was up to.

I looked over to see him holding monopoly money in one palm and flicking the fake bills away with the other, where they floated and landed at my feet. I stopped dancing and laughed.

"What do you think this is, the strip club?" I asked. He reached for more paper money from the box before answering.

"Nah, you've got too many clothes on for that." Without thinking I answered but immediately regretted it.

"That can be changed." He turned away as his face turned the color of a tomato. I looked at my feet before glancing at the clock. It was six in the morning. Eleven hours since he had hit his head. He would surely be fine by now, right.

"I think your safe to sleep if you want to. I'll stay here and clean up." He nodded before heading to his spot at the stairs. I sighed as he disappeared and I began to pick up all of the dollar bills off of the floor.


	10. 4:29 am

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning- Mentions of blood and gore

I awoke to the sound of a book slipping off the desk. It was a heavy volume on physics that had been hazardously perched on the edge. I must have moved in my sleep and hit it. I yawned and set my head back down on my hands. I wrinkled my nose in disgust and sat up. My hands still smelled like carpet cleaner and bleach.

Earlier that night, after Roman had dismissed us, I had led Patton back to the mindscape. He seemed to be very shocked and in distress but I couldn't blame him. The whole night had been an ugly ordeal. I knew that Thomas would be exhausted tomorrow but luckily he didn't have much going on. It was just another lazy day so he could afford to steal a few more hours of sleep.

I had spent hours scrubbing the red blotches out of the carpet in front of Patton's door. It had been too dark for him to see it last night but I had. Virgil must have passed out because there was a puddle of it, red and sticky. I had debated on just leaving it until morning but I couldn't risk Patton getting up before me and stepping out to that. Or Virgil. So I traded in sleep for a rag.

I yawned as I stood and stretched. The clock read 4:29 am. Way earlier than I usually like to get up. Maybe I could sneak in a bit more sleep before I was needed.

I knew it was impossible when I laid down. My mind was racing and my eyes had already adjusted to being awake. I sighed and put my glasses back on. Maybe I could take a walk around the garden, a peaceful walk would be good for me. I quickly readjusted my tie before heading out, gently closing the door behind me.

I made it to the living room in the mind where Roman was passed out on the couch. Virgil was nowhere to be seen. I figured that they had finally went to bed but Roman hadn't made it to his room. He had already been tired before staying up the whole night. I pulled the blanket off of the back of the couch and placed it on him. He shifted for a second and I thought that I had woken him up but he just mumbled something and settled back down.

I pushed the front door open and cringed at the squeak it gave. Thankfully I didn't hear any shuffling from the living room. 

Outside the sky was still dark but streaks of light from the rising sun were starting to appear. I took in the beautiful sight before heading for the bench set in the middle of the roses. Roman was very proud about his flowers so I was very careful not to stomp any under my feet. The bench was cold but refreshing. I gave another yawn and stared out at the rows of flora. 

Something snapped behind me and I spun around to see what it was. My eyes searched to find nothing there. My heart started to pound in my chest. It was probably just an animal but I couldn't calm myself down. Something was off.

"Logan!" I jumped to my feet and looked around wildly. That was Patton's voice and he sounded scared. "Help me!" 

I took after the direction of the voice, crushing roses as I went.

"Pat! Patton! I'm here!" I was now in the wooded area behind the garden. My head whipped back and forth as I searched for a familiar blue polo. "Patton! Where are you!"

"Logan!" There it was again, closer this time and off to my right. I crept closer to his voice until I saw him. The sight made me gasp.

His face was lolled forward and his hand cupped his side. A red stain covered the front of his blue shirt. It seemed to be spreading even further. A knife sat beside him, also covered in blood. I raced towards him as tears streaked down my face. 

"Patton! Pat, what happened?" I was by his side in seconds and on my knees so I could examine the wound. 

"I...I don't know. It hurts, Lo." His voice was raspy and it sounded like he was choking. That couldn't be good. I tried to pry his hand away so I could see it but he refused to move from his position. 

"Please Pat, I know it hurts but I need to see it so I can help you." I reached in my pocket for my phone, we needed help, but it wasn't there. It must still be on my desk where I had set it last night.

"No, Lo. There is nothing you can do to help." He grabbed my hand as his head snapped up. The last thing I remember before passing out were two piercing eyes; one brown and the other yellow, both out of place on Patton's kind face.


	11. A Path in the Roses

"Logan, I made breakfast." I waited a few seconds for his response but it never came. Odd, Logan was always up by this time. I had put off coming to get him a bit but there was no way he was still asleep. "Logan. Roman and Virgil are waiting for us, it's almost ten o'clock."

There was still no answer and no shuffling of papers or feet. I hated invading anyone's personal space but we needed to get to the kitchen to eat. I slowly opened the door.

"Logan," I called. My eyes went to his desk which was stacked with strategically placed books and paper filled with neat notes. He wasn't in his bed either. "Logan," I tried again. He wasn't here apparently. No clues as to where he would be either. I decided to return to the kitchen, maybe he said something to one of the others.

"Have any of you seen...." I trailed off as I took in the scene. Roman held a plate over his face and a piece of bacon out like he was handling a sword. Both were covered in scrambled eggs and jelly. I smiled as I saw that they were laughing.

"Patton," Roman whined. "Help me. I'm pinned down!"

"Hey no fair. No recruiting! Besides if Dad was on anyone's side it should be mine," Virgil cried. He chucked another clump of eggs that Roman easily deflected with porcelain shield. I laughed at their exchange.

"Well it's egg'cellent to see you two getting along but we have a problem." Roman took a spoonful of jelly and flicked it in Virge's direction. It missed his ear by inches.

"Where's Logan?" Roman asked. They were both focused on me now.

"I don't know. He wasn't in his room and I was wondering if he had said anything to you guys about where he was headed? Or what he was doing?" They both shook their heads.

"Last time I saw him was last night, after you guys helped Thomas get to bed." Virgil nodded in agreement with his statement.

"We can split up and look for him maybe?"

"That's a good idea, Virgil. I'll check the garden. You get the library and Roman, check in with everyone to see if they know anything." With that we all split up in our chosen directions.

I followed the path in the garden, past the roses and to the big tree in the center. I couldn't see anyone else. Maybe he really was just in the library studying, then Virgil would find him.

I made my way back towards the exit. I had always loved the garden. It was a nice place to relax and just breathe. I trailed my hands over the flowers as I walked. The roses were especially fragrant today. I bent down to sniff one. I closed my eyes as the scent flooded my senses and I smiled. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a patch of red flowers, flattened to the ground. My smile slid into a frown. Roman hated it when someone stepped on his roses. I carefully made my way over to the disturbance where I found many more, almost in a path headed away from the bench and towards the woods.

The hair on the back of my neck rose. It looked like someone had been running. But what they were running from was a mystery. What if it was Logan? What if he was in trouble? I debated on running to get the others, then an earsplitting scream came from the trees.

"Logan!" I yelled. I took off towards the sound, following the steps in the roses. "Logan, I'm coming!" Panic gripped me. I had to get to him.

I entered the forest at a dead sprint but slowed as my eyes searched for Logan. I couldn't see him anywhere, in fact there was no one else but me. I took deep breaths as I continued to search. I was positive that I had heard him.

"Looog--" I was cut off by a hand shoved over my mouth. i struggled as the green forest faded to black.


	12. Everything was Going to be Okay

After searching every row and table in the library I decided that Logan couldn't be here. I had even called out to him a few times just to make sure I hadn't missed him. I turned towards the door, ready to leave.

What if you missed him? That's impossible, I rationalized. I had searched everywhere. Did you really look everywhere? What if you missed a spot? I groaned and turned back to the shelves. I was almost positive that I hadn't skipped anywhere but the 'What Ifs' continued to eat at my brain.

I made a second round, keeping my eyes wide for any other person but I seemed to be the only one in here. This time I ignored the intrusive thoughts and left the library. I decided to head for the kitchen to see if any of the others had found him.

Roman was at the table, tapping his fingers on the hard surface. He raised to his feet once he saw me.

"Did you find him?" he asked. I shook my head.

"Nothing from you, I'm guessing." He sighed and sat back down. I pulled the chair opposite of his and sat down.

"No one has seen him, none of us, or the lesser sides, or Thomas." A streak of panic went through my gut. Something was wrong. Logan would never just disappear like that.

"What about Patton? Where's he at?" I questioned. Princey leaned back in his chair and tilted his head upwards.

"Nope, he's not back yet, hopefully he found Logan though." Another weird feeling. Now my hands were shaking. I held them up, palms down before balling them into fist to try and stop them. My already aching head doubled in pain.

A pair of warm hands were laid on mine. I looked up to meet Princey's eyes. He gently set my hands on the table and covered them with his own.

"Hey, Virge. It's going to be okay. Logan was probably so tied up in one of his projects that he went out and forgot to leave a note or something. And Patton will be back any second, the garden is pretty large and he probably just wanted to make sure that he covered it all. Everything is going to be fine."

I nodded and swallowed hard. Your fine, Virgil. Everything is fine. I looked down at Roman's hands over mine. His touch was warm and comforting. He was real and he was right here in front of me, everything was going to be okay.

"I'm back, kiddos," Patton declared as he walked in the door. On instinct I jerked my hands away and back to my sides. Princey slowly leaned back into his chair and clasped his hands together on the table in front of him. Heat rushed through my face.

"Did you find him, Pat?" Roman looked away from me and at the figure that had just entered. Was it just the lighting or did Princey's cheeks have a light dusting of pink?

"No. He wasn't in the garden. Any luck with you guys?" I kept my head down. Where could Logan be then? Princey also didn't say anything. Patton smiled and opened his arms wide. "Well I'm sure he's fine. He will probably be back soon. Maybe he just needed some time to himself. Just like you do sometimes, Anxiety."

"Yeah, maybe," I mumbled. I looked up at Patton and studied him. He had seemed so worried this morning and now he was acting like it didn't matter. More was bothering me too but I just couldn't place it.

"If he's not back by tonight, we will search some more," Roman concluded.

"Sounds great!" Patton agreed. I stood up and made my way to the door.

"I'll be in my room if you need me," I said. I barely caught what Pat said as I left.

"Okay, Anxiety." For some reason it made the hairs on the back of my neck raise.


	13. Knocks on the Door

I lunged forward, stabbing my imaginary dragon witch right through the gut and delivering the killing blow. I held my sword up so that the light caught it. I still couldn't get over how gorgeous it was, especially since my face was reflected in the blade.

I jumped at the knock on the door. My heartbeat sped up as I wondered who it could be. Virgil maybe. At that thought I smiled and dropped my hands to my side, sword still clutched in my left one. I checked my reflection in the full length mirror and ran my hand over my hair to fix the stray hair that Thomas had jokingly called Linda. When I deemed myself fit I went to open the door. 

"What's up, V.." I trailed off as I saw that it was definitely not Virgil at the door.

"The sky, kiddo," Patton said cheerily. A gave him a half smile and hoped that he didn't notice how my face dropped as he entered the room.

"Has Logan turned up yet?" I asked. Maybe he was here to deliver some good news but I still wished that it had been Virgil. He stood close to the door like he was ready to flee at any moment. His eyes were on his reflection in the mirror.

"No. I haven't seen him anywhere." He said it without looking away from himself and almost in a monotone voice. This struck me as odd. "I'm kinda scared, what if we don't find him?" His voice was now flooded with so much emotion that I dismissed my suspicions as me just mishearing him.

He was turned towards me, face contorted like he was in pain. I stepped forward and placed my hands around him.

"Hey, it's going to be fine, Patton," I reassured. "We're still together and we have Virgil too. We will find Logan no matter what. I'm sure that he just needed to go somewhere to think. He'll be back soon." I hope so, I thought.

Patton pulled back just far enough to see my face. "Thanks, I really needed that." A smile spread over his face and then turned into a startling chuckle. My blood ran cold as I vaguely recognized the sound.

"Patton? Patton are you okay?" I tried to pull away but his grip tightened around my arms until it was almost painful. I dropped my sword in surprise as he began to change. His face seemed to melt away like wax running down from a burning candle, until his scaly face was finally revealed.

I gritted my teeth as dark clouds traveled towards me. "Deceit. I should have known." Me eyes went to my weapon which was now by my feet but my arms were still firmly in his grip.

"You never did seem useful for much, Creativity," he snarled. The tendrils of black crept up my body and over my face but not before I heard the knock on the door, so light I thought it was my imagination.

"Roman." My heart melted at the sound of Virgil's voice. I wanted to yell at him to run, to get far away from here but my mouth was covered and it came out as a dull groan. "Roman. I need to talk to you." Then everything went dark.


	14. The Mom Friend Override Kicks In

"Roman, I need to talk to you." I subconsciously fiddled with the sleeves of my hoodie. This was a bad idea, I thought. What if I was bothering him? But this was important. There was something wrong with Patton this morning after he had come back from searching and of course my mind raced to the worst answer. Which actually fit perfectly.

My theory is that Logan had disappeared not by choice but he had been kidnapped but when Patton went to look for him, he was jumped. Then he was replaced by the one side who could look like anyone else. The one side who had just shown back up before this had all started.

I was hoping Roman was in his room alone so that we could talk. If anyone knew how to run a rescue mission it would be him, not to mention that he also had some weapons too.

I raised my hand to knock one more time but hesitated. Maybe that seemed too eager. Or maybe he was ignoring me. I instead decided to call his name one more time. There was a loud thump from inside the room, like someone had fallen. Without thinking I rushed forward and shoved the door open. Please don't be hurt, please don't be hurt, I prayed. I crashed into the room just as the last clouds of dark smoke evaporated. My panic grew. That meant a dark side had just been here and by my guess it was Deceit. 

"Roman! Roman!" I looked around frantically but he was nowhere to be found. I took a rushed step forward but jumped back when my toe hit something. I looked down to see a shining piece of metal with a handle covered in wrappings.

Roman never left his sword just laying around, he loved it too much. I could remember him talking about it for hours as he polished it clean. The fact that it was on the floor must mean that he had been using it maybe even while he was being attacked.

My breaths came out shaky. Roman was gone, he had been taken too. Just like Logan and Patton. I was all alone and the one person that I needed most had just slipped through my hands. I tried to stop it but the image of Roman just on the other side of the door from me burned through my mind, with his mouth open but no sound coming out as the darkness took him. I had been right there, just a few feet away. If only I wasn't so anxious and weird I could have opened the door myself and helped. I could have saved him.

I covered my mouth as the tears came to my eyes. This was my fault. I should have never tried to do this job. I should have stayed in the dark part of the mind, no matter how much it hurt me. Maybe then they would be safe and Thomas would be safe with them. I should have never agreed to this no matter how hard he pushed me. 

No, this wouldn't help. I needed to do something to help and this was not it. I know what he wanted but I had no idea what the plan was anymore. I was supposed to earn their trust, act as one of them and then somehow get them into the Pits of Forgetfulness with the help of Deceit. Then he could take over but I had changed all of that when I couldn't fulfill my part. Not once I had learned more about what it would really mean. Morality would be gone, there would be no right from wrong. Logic would be nonexistent and creativity would disappear. Thomas would be in ruins.

Over the years I could forget about my part, I tried to push it aside and hope that the dark sides would think it was all part of the plan but apparently his patience had run out.

If he had them they were probably in the castle, unless he had already tossed them out. I fell to the ground as the tears poured harder. What if I was too late?

They had just taken Roman though, which probably meant he would be fine for a little bit. Hopefully they were waiting to get all the sides before destroying them. If that was the case then I would still have some time but I would need to act quickly. I would also have to go back to that place. My hands shook as I wrapped them around the hilt of Roman's sword, the metal still slightly warm. There was still a chance and no matter how small it was, I needed to act on it.

I unsteadily rose to my feet with the sword still in my light grip. It felt foreign in my clammy hands. What was I doing. There was no way I could do this, I couldn't even say no to him so how could I attack him?

I imagined Patton as he smiled after another terrible pun, I couldn't help smiling at how happy he looked. Logan as he added his information and made things easier, easing the anxious thoughts. And Roman. Oh Roman. His confident smirk and his witty nicknames. His perfect acting and amazing ideas. How his eyes shone as he smiled, his beautiful laugh ringing through the whole room.

I gripped the sword tighter as I left the room. There were no more what ifs, I had to finish what I had started.


	15. Never One of You

I could feel myself being carried, slung over someone's shoulder like a sack of potatoes. My hands were bound by a rough rope that dug into my wrists. My mind started to clear as I blinked my eyes open as many times as it took to get them used to the lighting or the lack there of.

My mind raced, trying to figure out where I was. The last thing I remembered was being in my room. Patton had come to talk to me because he was concerned, only it wasn't really Patton. It was Deceit, which meant that he had Patton and Logan. Panic rolled through me. For once I despised my creativity.

I tried not to move too much so I didn't alarm whoever was carrying me. Maybe if I could find out where I was, I could escape. But I didn't have my sword and I couldn't just leave Pat and Logan.

There was a long creak as we continued forward and as we passed I could see that the source of the noise was two giant, grand doors but in a dark foreboding way. All deep navy, purple, and black. The whole place seemed to follow the same decoration theme, like it was Halloween but not fun Halloween colors but the dark, creepy ones.

We stopped abruptly and I was thrown unceremoniously onto the ground, landing hard on my hip. I groaned and looked up. The room shocked me in its similarity to my throne room back in the castle. The same vaulted ceilings, wide windows, and of course a throne, this one seemed to curl and move like a cloud.

"Roman!" I whipped my head towards the cry to see Patton just a few feet away from me, Logan beside him. Both of their hands were tied like mine but they seemed unhurt. I closed the gap between us in seconds.

"Are you guys okay? Did they do anything to you?" I needed to know that they were fine. I needed to reassure myself.

"Yes we are fine," Logan answered. His glasses were crooked and cracks spider webbed over the right lens. "They said something about waiting for the others. I'm assuming that meant you two. They want all of the main sides for some reason." That made sense, as the main sides we held the most power in the mind but what would they possibly want from us?

"Wait. If they want all the main sides.... that means they'll go after Virgil, we need to do something." I couldn't stand seeing him here but I imagined he wasn't much better off now. He was alone and if he didn't know it yet he would soon. What if they already had him?

"That's the thing, Roman. I don't think that they want to capture Virgil because he's..."

"Now, now. The room is getting too loud. I can't even hear myself think." I jumped at the unfamiliar voice and my eyes found the speaker by the window, covered in the shadows. His back was to us but I could see his dark sweatpants and hoodie. His hair was a mess, sticking up in random spikes and he slouched, uncertain of himself. He turned around and I gasped.

"Virgil?" I asked. His face contorted with anger and he balled his fist at his side. 

"No. I am not that fear controlled coward. Though we are closer than most." I could now see that he was very different from Virgil. We of course all had the same face and he shared Virgil's taste in eye shadow but his were streaked down his cheeks, almost like black tears. He wore baggy sweatpants and an overlarge hoodie with one sleeve slightly revealing a scarred arm. "Your little nerd friend is right though. I don't need Anxiety, although I'm sure he will turn up sometime. He failed his duties, he has no use to me now. Not since he was corrupted by you but soon he'll see the error of his ways and come crawling back."

My blood chilled at his words. Crawling back, Virgil had lived here? But it was so dark and depressing. This was the opposite of what someone with sever anxiety needed. It was cold and lonely and....... so discouraging. 

I had never prodded him for answers on where he had come from. We had all just kinda assumed that he had been manifested during a dark time in Thomas's life created for his purpose.

"No." My voice wavered a bit and I repeated myself louder and clearer. "No. There is no way Virgil would abandon us just like that." He gave a harsh, hoarse laugh.

"Abandon you? He was never with you. He is a dark side just the same as me. He may seem all good and buddy-buddy with you but he never really was. He was never on your side."

"That's impossible. Virgil was one of us. He is part of our family," I continued.

"Oh please. He's way more my family than yours. It's this unique skill called acting, Creativity. I'm sure you've heard of it. Anxiety was, is, and never can be a light side, there is nothing that he helps to build, all he does is destroy. Just like me." 

Black clouds started to snake in from under the door as his voice rose higher and higher. It curled around my legs and feet, chilling me to the bone. Deceit, who had been standing by the door looked panicked. 

"Are you.." he started but the other dark side cut him off with a wave of his hand and a smile.

"Looks like he's just in time. I know how he hates being late."


	16. So Had I, Roman, So Had I

I willed the darkness to pour out and spread around the room. I used all my fear and anxiety to shove it away from me. The doors popped open and I stepped over the unconscious guards. I ran into the room to see my friends all in a group, each one bound.

I let go of a breath I didn't know that I had been holding. They were alright. They were okay and safe an I wasn't too late.

"Virgil!" Roman cried. My heart melted at his voice. Most importantly, he was fine. I commanded the tendrils of darkness away from them and rushed over. I lifted the sword and started to cut away at the ropes on Roman's hands, being careful not to cut him. "Virgil. I'm so glad that you found us." His face was so close to my ear that I could feel his breath, hot against my cold skin.

"I'm glad I got here, I was so worried," I admitted.

"Virgil! Watch out!" Patton screamed. I whipped around to see my cloud disappearing and being consumed into his own personal storm. I brought the sword up and tried to hide the shaking in my hands. I knew this would happen. I knew that I would have to face him again, so why couldn't I move?

"Don't... Don't take another step," I tried to sound commanding but my voice was panicky and high. He stopped as a smirk lit up his face.

"What? No happy reunion? No, 'I've missed you! How have you been these past few years?'" He took another small step and I raised the sword a little higher to try to look intimidating. "Lower the sword little Anxiety. We both know you never were much of a fighter." He took a few more steps and motioned for Deceit to stay. He listened just like a poor lovesick puppy, I thought, not much had seemed to have changed over the years. 

"Right now your panic is growing. Your breath is catching and you feel like your suffocating. The air is too thin and the room is filled with too much. Your hands are shaking and you can't hide them." I looked down at my hands which were indeed shaking. I couldn't do this, what had I been thinking? "And that brain of yours keeps going over everything again and again and again. It's what you do. Your telling yourself that you can't possibly do it and your right."

He was now only a foot away but I still couldn't move. He's right, he's right, he's right, my thoughts repeated just like a mantra. He took one more step forward and placed his hands on mine as they clasped the hilt.

"Just let go of the sword, Anx. We can forgive you. You can actually do what you were created to do instead of hiding it away and pretending. You can spread your fear like poison. Look at the shadows, you can control them with me, use them to cloud the mind, choke out the light just like you were always intended to, Brother." I locked eyes with him. Dark, just like mine but dull.

"No!" Roman cried. "Don't listen to him, Virgil! You aren't just made to bring fear and panic. You help Thomas in so many other ways. You are the reason that he works so hard to do what he loves. You are what helps him to become a better person. Thomas needs you! We need you! Virgil, I need you," his voice cracked on the last word as a tear streaked down his face.

I tightened my grip on the sword and swung up, knocking Depression's hands away. My bangs fell over my eyes as I willed the darkness to creep back up.

"Foolish of you. I have always been stronger at this and you know it, Anxiety." I ignored him and concentrated, pulling myself into all the doubt and fear and anxiety. Sweat collected on my forehead as i fought for control.

"No. You always made me feel useless and weak. For some dumb reason I believed you. I followed you blindly. I thought that you were good and I was too anxious to stand up to you, but I know what goodness is now." The clouds gathered around him and Deceit, traveling up their torsos and to their necks. "And it isn't you!" The smoke closed over his face before he could even speak.

I dropped to my knees. What had I done? How had it lead to all of this?

"Virgil." Roman was next to me in seconds. He was also on his knees and his hands were tied. I knew that I should cut him loose but my head pounded and I couldn't move. "Virgil." He used his hands to lift my chin to meet his eyes.

Slowly he closed the gap between us and our lips met. He was gentle and warm. I gasped in surprise but soon leaned into it. I slipped my hands to the back of his head, enjoying the feeling of his soft hair between my fingers.

Then he slowly pulled away, leaving his face so tantalizing close that I wanted to kiss him again. He smiled, a smile that lit up his whole face.

"I've been wanting to do that for sooo long." I could feel the blush creeping up my face. So had I, Roman, so had I. 

Someone cleared their throat and I jumped away. Logan stood above us with Patton beside him. They were both free now.

"Sorry to disturb this moment but we should head back and I'm sure Roman can't be too comfortable making out while his hands are bound." My face burned as I picked up the sword and cut the rope away. He rubbed his wrists at the raw rings around them and stood up, holding out a hand to help me.

"We should get out of here fast. I'm not sure how long that will hold them." You need to get out of here.

I was correct on it not holding them for much longer. I could hear Depression's angry cries as we raced down the corridor.


	17. Dental Tools, Handy in a Pinch

"Here Roman, take the sword." I turned to see Virgil holding it out, hilt first to me. "You actually know how to use it and we may have to fight if they catch up to us."

"Are you sure? You did pretty good on your own." I smiled at him. He blushed and shoved the sword closer to me. Even in the dim light I could see his cheeks flushing.

"I'm sure and besides I have my own ways. I didn't even use the sword. I mostly brought it because I knew you would need it." I nodded and took the blade from him. The hilt was soft and familiar, fitted to my hand and warm from his hands.

"Sorry Kiddos but we need to keep moving," Patton called from down the hallway. We took back off at a jog and caught up to the other two. We turned the corner and met another dead end.

"This castle is like a labyrinth," Logan commented. "We need to hurry though." There was a loud crack from the direction we had came that made us all jump. "If only we had a map. Virgil," He spun around to face the anxious side. "Do you remember the layout? Any of it at all?"

He shook his head. "I'm sorry but its been so long and I really tried to forget all of this." His hand traced over the dark stones that made up the structure. "Roman." 

"Yes?" I answered.

"When we all first went to your castle I hated it, remember?" I nodded but had no clue what my perfect palace had to do with any of this. "That's because it was so similar to this place. Every room and hallway was like the mirror opposite." I could see where he was going with this now. I know my palace like the back of my hand and if this one was built the exact same....

"This way." I took off, back the way we came and then down another hallway. Three lefts, a right, and one more left. Fourth door on the right. I tried to turn the knob but it stuck, locked.

"Stand back," I called. They scooted away and I took a few steps back before racing forward and dropping my shoulder. I hit it with a thump and bounced right off, toppling to the floor. I groaned as I tried to sit back up. 

"Roman, are you okay?" Virgil was by my side, his face wild with fear. I nodded and stood up. My whole left arm ached.

"That didn't work like I had planned," I tried joking, maybe they wouldn't see how stupid I felt. "But we need in there."

"I think I can help with that." Logan stepped forward and pulled something out of his pocket. It was a simple, long, case and inside were silver sticks with sharp edges. They seemed vaguely familiar but I couldn't seem to place them.

"Are those dental tools?" Virgil asked. I could see that he was correct they did look just like those that the dentist used.

"Yes, dental tools can be used to pick locks just like a lock pick set but dental tools are slightly more legal to carry around. You just have to know how to use them."

"And you just carry these around why?" I questioned. It was a little suspicious that he carried around a legal version of a lock pick set.

"You never know what you'll need them for but they are very good for picking locks especially in a situation like this." I decided to debate the correctness of this practice later, once it was done being helpful. "Patton come hold this."

"Don't worry I've been to the dentists, I know the drill!" He announced cheerfully. He gave a slight chuckle and obediently held the tools. Logan rolled his eyes before getting to work. There was another bang, closer this time. Virgil jumped and accidentally bumped into my shoulder. I winced but didn't say anything.

"I'm so sorry, Roman.." He started but I cut him off.

"Your fine. I'm not going to let any of them touch you ever again. Your safe." And I meant it too. I didn't know much about his past but these sides had obviously hurt him in some way and I wasn't about to let it happen again.

"Roman, you can't promise that. I.. " The door opened with a click and Logan motioned for us to rush through before he slammed the door shut and locked it again. "What now?"

I left the question unanswered and felt the bricks on the east wall. A bed sat on the north wall and dressers filled the opposite one but the furnishing wasn't what I was concerned about, even though it was a little drab. I ran my fingers softly on each stone before I felt one give just a tiny bit. Using both hands I shoved it deeper into the wall.

With a rumble the wall parted and revealed a dark, damp hallway. "A shortcut. I use this one in my Palace to get to meeting faster. It should bring us out by the door but it looks like this one hasn't been used in a while." Logan stepped forward and examined it before taking a tentative step. Patton went to follow him but stopped. Logan noticed and stopped also.

"Pat, what's wrong?" he asked. Patton's face had now turned an ashen color as he stared at the wall.

"Creepy crawly death dealers are everywhere in here. I'm sorry but I can't." He went to turn but Logan grabbed his arm.

"Hey, we'll get through this together. I promise. Most spiders don't like humans anyways but if we had some light it would be a little better." We looked around to each other but everyone shook their heads. No one had a light.

"You have dental tools but not a flashlight?" I questioned.

"No, it was a very statistically low chance that I would even have that. We'll just have to go through the dark. Patton grab a hold of my hand so we don't lose each other," Logan suggested. Patton turned and held both his hands out. I took one and nodded to him before turning to Virgil, my hand reaching for his. He cautiously slipped his into mine and I noticed how cold his skin was. 

"Let's do this," Virgil said. He seemed eager to get out of here and I couldn't blame him.

"Let's do this together," I agreed.


	18. The Punch Line

As promised the passage way lead right to the front door, or as close as possible. We exited into the main hallway after pulling down on a light fixture and the wall moved away.

"Let's hurry," Logan whispered. Like we weren't already. We could no longer hear anyone pursuing us but we didn't take that as a comfort. I dropped my hand from Patton's but kept my grip on Virgil's. He looked like he needed the extra reassurance. 

"Don't worry," I whispered in his ear. "We're almost out of here. Then we'll be home." I gave him a small kiss for luck and drew my sword awkwardly with my right hand. I was way better with my left but that hand was busy holding something far more precious. I couldn't help but smile as I thought about how he had kissed me. I had foolishly went for it after all of my relief had shocked me. I thought that he would shove me away in disgust but that hadn't happened at all. 

"There might be more hostiles outside who are in league with Depression. So we need to be careful," Logan warned.

"No. They all hate him. Any of them would be glad to help you as long as they don't get into trouble for it. It's not like your side where they love you guys. You are all so compassionate and caring but Dep rules through fear. He uses his control over the darkness to control them," Virgil argued. 

A bolt of sadness went through me. What must it be like to live every day in constant fear by something that you had no control over?

"But you can control it too, Virgil. Why does he get to lead?" Logan questioned. I was about to come to Virgil's defense when Patton cut in.

"Sorry to interrupt but we really shouldn't stay here too long. We are still being chased." Logan gave a look that said this conversation wasn't over and turned to open the doors. With a shove they slid our to reveal the dark and dismal outside.

There seemed to be little sunlight and what there was was choked out by the heavy fog. Across the dry, crumbling ground were quaint shacks that seemed to be made of everything and anything; bits of wood, metal panes, cardboard boxes, and some small windows covered in bars. I could see no sign of any life or our home.

"That way," Virgil confirmed. "The exit is past the village. We need to hurry though. They're getting closer." He was correct. I could hear the footsteps becoming louder.

"What are we waiting for then?" I asked. We charged across the barren land at a dead sprint and made it to the first building in a record time.

"It's too open. They'll see us easily," Logan growled. "We need to find some cover and maybe we can wait them out." Virgil ripped his hand out of mine and pulled his hood up. I glanced over with concern but he looked away.

"Whatever we do, it needs to be fast." I indicated to the figures racing our way. Logan whipped his head around before racing off, waving at us to follow suit. We raced down a dirty street and down another before turning into a house. Logan peeled the door open and rushed us in. Once we had all made it, he slammed it close.

There was a scream and we all jumped and turned to see another side standing in the room, his hands over his mouth. He wore dark jeans and a black t-shirt. His face is what concerned me the most. His eyes were ringed with tears and his cheeks were hallow like he hadn't eaten well for a long time. His eyes were dark and reflected a kind of sadness that I couldn't speak of.

"Please. We don't mean you any harm. We only wish to hide from our pursuers." I tried to carefully structure my sentences, unsure of who this side was.

"Is it Depression? I don't want to get into trouble." His voice cracked midway through the last word like he was going to break down into tears.

"I promise that we will in no way get you into trouble. We just need to stay for a little bit while they pass, please sir." He glanced over us, Logan with his arm around Patton as he gave a dry cough, Me in my stained white suit and bright sash, and Virgil a few feet away, his hood completely covering his face.

"Okay I guess." He turned away and took out a rag. He then used it to wipe away the tears that trailed down his face. "I'm sorry for being so weepy. It's just.. It's just that I can't help it. I'm Sorrow." He held out his hand and we all shook it, except for Virgil.

"I am Logan or Logic, that's Patton or Morality. In the white is Roman or Creativity and over there is," 

"Virgil," Virge cut in. Sorrow looked at us in awe.

"But that means that you're the Light Sides. The Major Light Sides. Why would you be here? In the Dark Place of the Mind? You don't belong here," he cried. We all sat down on his hodge podge of boxes. 

"It's a long story but Depression has been plotting. He wants to take over the whole Mind," I explained. 

He gave a choked sob. "He can't. That would ruin so much. If he had absolute power..." He was cut off by another sob.

"But he won't. We got away and we can stop him. He needs us and once we're gone he can't do anything. We won't let him, Kiddo," Patton promised. Sorrow seemed to relax a little bit at Pat's words.

"What is his job," Sorrow asked as he pointed at Virgil. Virge froze at his words and clutched the bottom of his jacket tightly.

"Virgil is just as important as us. And he helps Thomas just like any of us," Logan countered.

"Yeah but what does he do?" Sorrow pushed. "Why are you hiding over there if you're one of the Light Sides? Take your hood off." 

"No," Virgil shouted but it was too late. Sorrow had already reached over and flung it off his head. Virgil shrunk away as his hands trembled and covered his face but it was too late. The damage had been done. Sorrow's face turned even darker.

"Get out of here now," he ordered.

"But, but why" I asked. "We're here to help you, remember?"

He shook his head. "No. Not him. Anxiety works for him. I will not trust that he won't turn me in to his brother. All he has ever done was Depression's biding. He's a monster and that's all he will ever be! He never once lifted a finger to help any of us. So no, I don't welcome him here. Out now!" Again he swiped the tears away. I gripped my sword tighter.

"Take that back! Virgil has done nothing but help Thomas in every way that he can. He is one of us." The tip of my blade was now just below his chin.

"He could never be one of you. Your just blinded by the feeling you think is love. No matter how hard he pretends. Anxiety was, is, and always will be a dark side," Sorrow spit. I rushed forward and brought my left fist over in a nice left hook. My knuckles connected with his cheek and he collapsed to the ground in a heap. Logan caught me by the arm and pulled me away.

"It's fine Roman. We're probably safe to leave by now anyways. Let's not waste any more of our time on this simpleton with the IQ of a rock. On second thought, that's an insult to some rocks!" With that we left with Logan shaking in anger.

We made our way slowly through the town.

"Guys I'm really sorry that I ruined our plan and that I can't do anything and.."

"No, Virgil. Never believe that insufferable cotton headed ninny muggin! You are one of us and you do so much to help us and to help Thomas," I reassured. He gave a small smirk before looking down again. I gritted my teeth. What else could I say to help?

"Well, well isn't this just cute?" The voice chilled my bones.


	19. Happily Never After

I raised my sword and placed myself in front of the others. Why couldn't our luck have held just a few more minutes? We were just feet away from what I assumed was the barrier. A smoky gray wall that covered the whole entryway into what looked like one of our hallways. Then he had showed up. 

A smile played on his lips but something was different from his usual one. Instead of a smirk it looked like a real bittersweet smile. I froze as I recognized it. Deceit had never smiled like that. He started forward, towards us. 

"Stay back!" I cried as I pointed my sword towards his chest. He listened and stopped just a few feet in front of us. He took his hat off and held it in his hands, revealing his bewildering hat hair.

"You should be quiet before any of the others hear you. I don't want Depression to come running." I kept my sword up even with his heart. What did he want and how would doing this achieve it, I thought. I had never been one for planning through and Deceit was hardly ever rational. 

"I don't mean you any harm. Please just let me explain. I want to help you guys and I have never said anything truer." I bit my lip and debated. Why should I trust him, he is Deceit for crying out loud!

There was a hand on my forearm, warm and reassuring. I looked over to see Patton by my side. He had shoved past Logan to me.

"Roman. Lower the sword. We should talk this out. I believe that he is trying to tell us the truth." I opened my mouth to argue but he cut me off. "Please. Besides we out number him. If he had wanted to he could have already had Depression her to detain us. We need to give him a chance." 

"Fine but if you try anything, Snake Boy, then I will show no mercy and you will regret having ever been created." I sheathed the sword on my side and crossed my hands over my chest, ready to see what excuse he had this time.

"I wasn't always so important to the Dark sides. I grew up in a shack just like these but one day I caught the attention of a boy. This was before we had a ruler or any sort of system. Everyone struggled to survive because Thomas's childhood holds such happy times. This boy and his brother had an idea. He wanted to bring the Dark Sides together to help them grow stronger.

I was entranced by these ideas so I decided to help. We were going to make the world a great place, the three of us. Remember that, Anxiety?"

Virgil squirmed as all eyes were on him.

"I fell wholeheartedly into the cause. Create more trouble, grow our powers and maybe eventually rule. We planned for years for it. Depression came up with the idea to introduce Anxiety to the Light Sides of the Mind. Thomas was a teenager at the time. So confused about everything and worried about who he was that it was the perfect time to let Anxiety through.

The plan was simple. Depression and I would unite things here while Anx destroyed all hope in the Light Side. Then when you were all at your weakest the barrier would break down, allowing us to take over both portions of the Mind.

But I don't want that anymore and maybe I never really did. I've seen Thomas now and I know what he does. I've seen how he helps others going through the same problems. Letting Dep take over would ruin him. He would snuff out that light that makes Thomas shine so bright. And no matter how much I love him, I can't let him do this to Thomas." A tear ran down his cheek as he looked down at the muddy puddle at his feet.

"I'm so sorry for everything I've done and I hope that you can all forgive me. I'll leave now to go throw him off but you might want to hurry. And Anxiety," he paused and waited for Virgil to look at him. "I'm so sorry that I can't change how this all turned out." With that he turned and ran, out of the alley and out of sight.

"Virgil is this true?" I asked. He nodded and spoke up.

"Once I got there I realized that I couldn't do it. You guys excepted me like no one ever had and I loved that. I wanted to stay and I never thought that Dep would try this. It's all my fault. I'm so sorry." His voice cracked with sorrow. I placed my arms around him.

"It's okay, Virgil. You saved us and we're almost home. Then everything will be fine. We'll have each other," I promised.

"Let's go home guys," Logan said. We turned and headed for the barrier. Logan and Patton went through hand in hand. I turned to look at Virgil.

My smile dropped. He hadn't moved at all. Tears were now visibly rolling down his face. "Virgil, come on. We're almost home." He looked up at me and brought his hand towards my cheek. I placed my hand on his as he continued to cry.

"Oh, Roman. I'm so sorry. I'll miss you so much." I took my hand from his and cupped his face.

"Hey we're going to be together. Come on the barrier is right over there. I didn't understand what the problem seemed to be.

"Roman. I can't go through the barrier. The last time I did it was during a very anxious time in Thomas's life. With that my power had grown and I could pass through. The barrier is a prison cell for sides like me. Thomas is happy, Roman. He doesn't need me anymore." 

My heart stopped. By coming here he had sealed his fate. He knew he had been waling into a trap yet he still did it for us. "NO. NO. NO. We need you remember? You keep Thomas in line. You help us so much."

"And I'll continue to do those things but I'll be here. My power will be lessened. It's better this way anyways. Thomas will still have a reasonable amount but none of the heightened anxiety he does now. Thomas doesn't need me anymore." I could now feel the hot tears on my cheeks. There was no way this could be happening. We were so close. So close.

"The hell with Thomas, I need you Virgil!"I screamed. "Please," I choked out. I leaned in and kissed him, strong and slow, making sure that he was still here and pretending that it would fix whatever evil spell that had been cast on me. His lips were warm and salty. I pulled away slightly so that our lips were still barely touching. "Please Virgil. Don't leave me. If you stay then I do too."

"You can't, Roman. This place will destroy you. I can't sit here and watch that happen. They need you Roman. Please if you really do love me then leave," he begged. He was right. This place was already having its affects on me. I felt weaker and my usual powers didn't work. With shaking hands I pulled my sash over my head and placed it in his hands.

"I'll come back for you Virgil, I promise. No matter what it takes. I love you, Virgil." I slowly started towards the barrier. Our hands unclasped and slowly fell apart. I kept my eyes on Virgil as I made my way back. Suddenly I saw three figures coming up behind him, one controlling a dark cloud of mist. I rushed forward but was drug away by two pairs of hands, through the wall. I watched the whole way as Depression engulfed Virgil.

I screamed until my lungs gave out and the world turned black.


	20. Scattered in the Wind

I felt the pull of being summoned and let it take me out of the warm covers of my bed. It took too much effort to try and resist it. After three days in bed, not moving, the effort was something that I didn't have.

I blinked and then I was standing in the living room in my usual spot in front of the T.V. I caught my reflection in the dark surface and turned away. My hair was a mess, sticking up everywhere reminding me of Einstein and my suit was wrinkled. Not to mention that it looked too plain without the dashing red sash.

Virgil's spot was empty. There was no sign of the anxious emo. Even the dark aura that hung around the stairs had been lifted. I wanted, needed to look away but I couldn't. If I thought hard enough I could almost pretend that he was there with a scowl on his face but it never lasted for long before reality came crashing back.

"Roman, are you okay?" I jumped and turned to see Thomas in front of the couch. I nodded but didn't answer anything more. I realized that both Patton and Logan had silently popped up. Everything seemed so quiet and odd.

"Guys, what's wrong?" I can't summon Virgil," Thomas explained. We all met eyes but didn't dare say a word. "Did he duck out again?" Patton didn't even give his signature quack at that one. Thomas's head whipped around between us. "What's happened? Where is Virgil?" At his name, my throat constricted and I could barely breathe. They hadn't told him yet. I had hoped that they would and I could just avoid this whole conversation. 

"He's gone, Thomas," Logan said. Thomas scowled in confusion. I trained my eyes to the ground, wanting to disappear. 

"You mean that...... that Virgil is..." Thomas tried.

"No! He isn't dead. He can't be," I cried. Everyone looked up to me in shock. It was the most I had spoken in three days.

"Then we can get him back and fix things. He's okay, right?" Thomas asked. I didn't know how to answer. Was he okay? We didn't know ourselves. "Right, guys?" 

"Remember when Virgil completely ducked out? How Thomas was acting? But he's not like that now, so Virgil is still doing his job. Thomas still has anxiety although it may be lessened than what he is used to. That means that Virgil is alive," Logan reasoned. It helped me feel a little better but it did nothing to dull the pain of his absence. 

"Obviously I've missed some things. Could you guys fill me in a little?" I hadn't thought about how Thomas would react to all of this. I didn't want to be here for this discussion. If they didn't retell the story then I could pretend that it hadn't happened and Virgil was just being his usual, nonsocial self, couped up in his room. But I had no such luck and they dove into a recounting of three days ago. My legs felt numb as they got to our last moments together and I felt like I was going to pass out. I ran my hands through my wild hair and squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block out their words. 

Finally, they finished and there was a long pause as Thomas deciphered all the information. His look of confusion was gone, now replaced with a deep sorrow. I wondered how it felt to have one-fourth of the main part of you missing but I could relate. My whole world was gone and I wasn't sure if I could ever live without it. 

"There has to be a way to get him back right? If he did it once he can do it again. We just need to think and plan and..... and.....and put it into action! Create some great rescue," Thomas tried. "We can do this. Okay, this is really weird but I feel sure about this. Is this confidence?"

Logan shook his head along with Patton. "That's not a good idea, Kiddo. He was only able to leave when you were highly anxious during your teen years when you were trying to figure yourself out and not embarrass yourself completely. You're stable now. You've owned your identity, your sexuality, and you've been improving your self-esteem greatly."

"Then I just need to be really anxious again. I can get nervous about stuff and maybe make myself anxious. Then Virgil could cross the barrier. We can do it, I just need to..." 

"This couldn't possibly work. Even if you do rewire yourself to be more anxious again, which in itself is a terrible idea," Logan interceded. "We still can't get him to cross the barrier. He would have to be near it and they used their energy and powers to send him across last time."

"But Logan, we could use our strengths," I tried. " Together, we three are way more powerful than they could ever be. We could get Virgil back!" My excitement rose as I thought of the prospect.

"It will still make a negative impact on Thomas. Making himself overly anxious is what we have been avoiding and working on for the past two years!" Logan countered. Why couldn't he see that we had to do this? It was the only way.

"But we could get Virgil back, Logan. Isn't that what you want too? We can save him and bring him back to where he belongs. There is no way I am going to leave him to rot in that vile place!" Tears were now streaming down my face. All the anger and pain from the past three days had finally boiled over until I couldn't contain it anymore. All I wanted, all I needed was for Virgil to be here and safe.

"Roman." I turned to Patton as he softly spoke. "Virgil is important to all of us and of course we want him back but you have to think about what he would want. He hated causing Thomas's anxiety, even when it was more manageable. In doing this you would go against everything he ever tried to stand for. All he ever wanted to do was protect Thomas and you need to see that Virgil would never want this plan to go through." 

I let out a horrible sob and fell to my knees. Every little hope I had had was now gone, smashed into a million pieces but they were right. Virgil would never go for the plan. I couldn't imagine how disappointed in me he would be right now.

"Roman, it's okay. We will find some way to save him, no matter how long it takes but we won't go against his virtues." 

I understood that but I wasn't sure how long I could wait. How long before all the shattered pieced finally turned to dust and my heart was gone, scattered in the wind?


	21. Anniversary

I sat on the empty stairs, my new perch according to the others. It used to be in the hallway a few feet down from my door where his should have been, where it usually was. The dark door with the purple thundercloud had disappeared though, three days after its owner. 

I had entered my room but had paused and turned back around. It felt off as I looked down the hall. When I had realized what it was, tears streaked down my face. It felt so much more final with his room completely gone. After that, I had disappeared into my room for days.

Eventually, it had gotten a little easier. I could go into the living room without being overwhelmed with grief. We had even started making videos again about six months after that night. At first, I had balked at the idea, we couldn't have Sander Sides without him. We left Virgil's spot empty. Thomas had tried to act out his part but Joan finally convinced him to give it up. It just wasn't the same.

It still hurt every day, every hour, and every minute that passed without him beside me.

I pulled my phone out and opened up the Youtube app. It immediately brought up Thomas's channel. With a few clicks, I started the series at the beginning, our series. Virgil wasn't in the first one although he had been present. The whole time we were filming he would anxiously intrude with his panicked thoughts. It had annoyed me to no end but I would give anything to go back.

The next video played. Virgil's grand entrance. He had refused to cooperate with the video but after talking to Patton for a bit he had reluctantly agreed and so he had joined us. From then on we became closer. I had learned more about him and no longer thought of him as annoying, Instead, I had fallen hardcore for that angsty emo. I had denied it and then I had accepted that it would never happen. Why would Virgil want me? He could obviously do so much better but then he did choose me.

I played through the episodes, not caring that I should have been working on other projects. Finally, I got to our last video together, when Deceit showed up and everything went downhill. I had mixed feelings about Deceit. He was the one who had put all of it into motion, the one who stole Logan and Patton away before leading us all into a trap.

Then again he had helped us in the end and I could understand why he had done it all. He loved Depression and would do anything to stay by his side even if his love was never returned. I would do the same for Virgil.

Usually, I stopped the thread after that video, denying that that was the end of seeing him. Instead, I let the next one play and read through the comments as it went on. Some congratulated Thomas on the new video, others commented on their favorite lines, a few asked where Virgil was and if he was doing okay.

As the next one played I did the same thing. This time there were more comments demanding to know about Virgil. The few Deceit lovers also wanted their lying snake back. By the next video, the Fanders were going crazy. Conspiracies went nuts as they started to worry. Many wrote to Virgil, begging for him to come back. Eventually, the comments lessened and they learned as I did to live without.

"Roman, you shouldn't be obsessing over this again." Logan flipped on the lights and made his way down to me. He placed his arm around my shoulder and I leaned into him, letting the tears flow.

"I know it's bad and I should just stop but I can't, Logan. I promised I would get him back but there's nothing I can do. I just can't let go." My cries had now turned into loud sobs and I heard another pair of feet make their way down to us. Another pair of arms wove their way around me. 

"We all miss him Roman, and if there was any way we could get him back without harming Thomas we would, Kiddo." Patton had said those words many times. I knew it was supposed to make me feel better but it hurt. It reminded me of how helpless I am.

"I just wish I could do something, anything! I just sit here and go through life like nothing is wrong but there's a huge piece missing. We can't fill it either and he can't come back," I cried. They exchanged their saddened expressions and hugged me tighter.

We stayed like that for a long time, just the three of us huddled on the stairs. It was just like old times before Virgil came along, except it wasn't. We hadn't realized how lucky we were to have him and now it was too late to cherish him.

Logan's watch buzzed and he moved his wrist to look at it. 12:00 a.m. I took a deep breath and tried to stop my heart from dying even more. It was officially two years without Virgil.


	22. The Red Sash

"Anxiety! Anxiety!" I ripped my wondering mind away from my thoughts as the harsh words cut through my daydream like a knife. "Are you listening, Anx?" I flinched at Depression's tone and ducked my head so I wouldn't look defiant. Little tricks like that one had all but disappeared when I had left but it had taken exactly a few hours for them to come haunting back.

"Yes," I muttered, sinking under the gaze of five pairs of eyes, Depression's most trusted advisors. One snickered at my blatant lie while the others threw disgusted glances my way. As far as they were concerned, I was scum in a thin veil of jewels that my brother was just too blind to see through.

It had taken a while, how long I wasn't really sure, to get back in his good graces after I had returned. I woke up in a cell on the cold stone floor. I had panicked for a few seconds before remembering what had happened. The others had made it. They had to have but then the darkness had taken over before I could really tell, choking me almost as much as the sadness in my heart.

They continued on with their meeting discussing, like always, how to make everyone suffer more to gain power. I used to be all in for these meetings and schemes but since being a Main Side myself, I couldn't imagine anything like this. Luckily, nothing ever actually gets done. There's always a fight or not enough resources. Not to mention Deceit and I working behind the scenes to prevent anything too damaging.

I glanced over at Deceit now as he nodded along and wrote down notes, playing his part. To the others, he was an enthused member but I could tell he was different. I wasn't the only one who had changed. 

Finally, the meeting was over leaving Dep, Deceit, me, and a half dozen guards as the only ones in the room. I wiped my sweaty hands on my pants and shakily stood. Deceit and Depression were in the middle of a conversation and I stood beside them. There but not really. Part of the group but invisible. I waited by the door for them to finish.

"Deceit, show Anxiety back to his room. We're done for now but after that come back so we can discuss smaller details," Depression commanded. I gratefully followed Deceit out the heavy wooden doors. We were silent until there was no chance anyone could hear us.

"Their plan this time seems halfway reasonable but there's no way it would actually go through. There are too many holes to mess with this one, especially with Jealousy and Pride already at each other's throats," He explained. I nodded to show that I was listening even if I had nothing to add to the matter. My thoughts were elsewhere today.

"How was.... how was the last time you...." I wasn't sure how to word it. 'Visited', 'infiltrated', or maybe 'Pretended to be a Light Side to get information for the Dark Sides but never actually telling the Dark Sides the truth'. Anyway I said it, I still needed an answer.

He let out a short sigh. "They seem okay, Anx. They're doing their jobs and they've even started making videos again for what's it called? Vine?" I shook my head.

"Youtube. They shut Vine down so we moved to Youtube and Thomas started the Sander Sides series," I corrected. They were good and that was good. They needed to continue their jobs to help Thomas. I wondered how they set the videos up now that I was gone. Did Logan move back to my spot or did they cut it out completely? How did the fans take my absence? I'm sure some of them didn't care. Actually, most of them probably didn't. I don't see how I could be an important character. All I did was sulk and bring the group down.

"Although they are a little different now. I think Logic and Morality are an item." I couldn't help but smile. It was about time those two finally acted on it. There were only so many lovesick glances everyone could take before they figured it out. I had no reason to talk though. I had liked Roman forever but had only just confessed it right before I'd lost him for good. My smile faultered.

"And Roman? How's he doing?" I asked cautiously. Deceit's gaze dropped to the floor as we walked.

"Creativity still does everything that is required of him but something is a bit off. He doesn't sing as much and well he doesn't seem to..........sparkle like he used to, I guess." We stopped at my door where we stood in awkward silence. "Anxiety, I'm so sorry."

"Don't be, Deceit. We couldn't have known that this is how it would end."

"That doesn't make it right. After really seeing Thomas, he's more than just the person we make up, he's important and he helps people. How could I have ever plotted to destroy something so wonderful." I took his hand in mine, trying to be comforting and not creepy.

"But you're changing that and that's the best you can do. We both fell for it, Deceit. We were blinded by ambition and love to the point of stupidity but now even though we both still love him we can see how wrong he is. That doesn't mean we have to hate him, instead the best we can do is try to help him see the correct way." As I said it, I realized how true it really was.

Depression and I were closer than most since we had shown up together, our version of brothers. I didn't go anywhere without him and I loved him. I still did even though he had put me through hell and back.

"I should be going." Deceit tore his hand from mine and turned back the way he had come.

"And D," I started, catching his attention enough for him to stop. "You should tell him how you feel because you'll never know when you won't ever have the chance again."

I watched him disappear down the hallway before going into my room.

 

Finally, completely alone. Not in a bad way but as my break. There was only so much interacting I could take before I crashed.

I plopped down on my bed and let my bangs flop out of my eyes. I probably looked ridiculous but no one was here to see me. I slowly unzipped my jacket, needing some reassurance. 

My hands grasped the silky red material, instantly calming me. The sash reminded me of him so much but most importantly it reminded me that it was real. I had gone to the Light Sides, I had become their friends, and I had kissed Roman.

Tears spilled over my cheeks. It stabbed me like a double-edged sword. It had been real. I had come back, I had gotten stuck back in the Dark Side and I was trapped here. I wouldn't ever be able to see them again.

I dug my nails into the skin of my palm and threw my other hand over my mouth, muffling the sobs. Why did it have to turn out like this? I was so close to being valued and loved. But I guess you always have to wake up from a dream sometime.


	23. The Color of Paint

Snowfall White. That was the color of my ceiling. At least that's what I would have named it if I made paint colors. Just like the snow reflecting the sun when you stepped outside, it attacked my eyes every morning. Or maybe it could be called Emo Face because it reminded me of him but everything does.

It's days like this when I wish Tennyson were still alive so I could slap those words right back into his mouth. "Tis better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all." What bullshit. Dealing with missing him every day has to be worse. I see him in everything, the empty stairs, the music Thomas listens to, any social situation that used to be stressful, every Disney movie with a dark side. Even the damn color of my ceiling. 

I started debating whether I should even get up when someone started pounding on the door. I ignored them, hoping that they would go away but I had no such luck. It got louder and more rapid. With a grunt, I threw the blankets off and swung my legs over the side of my bed.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," I mumbled as I made my way over. Whoever it was they still weren't stopping. I yawned and pulled the door open.

Logan paused with his hand raised up, ready to knock again for the millionth time. His eyes went wide as he saw me. "Roman are you okay? You look..." I yawned again and ran my hand through my hair as he searched for the right words.

"Yeah. I'm fine. What it is?" I wish he would just tell me and leave me alone. I really just wanted to go back to bed and maybe get some sleep. He seemed to be taking forever to get to the point.

"Patton has lunch ready for us. He thought it would be a good idea to go outside so he packed a picnic. It is a particularly pleasant day although there is a chance of sunburn that should be addressed. It's..."

"I'm good. I'm not hungry." I tried to shut the door but he pushed it back open. I frowned at his tiring antics. 

"Roman you haven't eaten all day and I don't remember you eating yesterday either. It is unhealthy to make your body run on so little fuel." I rolled my eyes at the tie-wearing nerd. 

"I'm fine, Logan. I have eaten. I had a.......bagel earlier. It was a really late breakfast so I'm still pretty full," I tried. He looked unconvinced so I gave my best effort at a smile to show him that I really was fine. I think it turned out as more of a slight twitch of my cheek than an actual smile.

"Are you sure you don't want to join us? Patton and I would enjoy your company. It's been missing for a little while." Does he mean here lately or for the two years, one month, and seventeen days that Virgil has been missing too? My face hardened.

"Yes, I'm positive." I shoved the door closed and it caught momentum causing it to slam right in his face. It was a satisfying sound.

I started to make my way back to my bed but stopped in front of my full-length mirror. Yeesh, I could see why Logan had looked at me weird. I was still wearing my red flannel pants from a few days ago and my favorite white hoodie with a crudely drawn crown was dingy and stained. Usually, I would have screamed about how messy my hair was. It was as if Linda had started a revolution and all of my hairs had joined in on the protest by sticking up in every direction. My eyes were bloodshot with dark circles surrounding them. 

I sighed as I turned away and headed back to my bed and maybe some sleep. What did it matter what I looked like? I had no one to impress and I doubted that I would ever see anyone else today. Outside of this room just held too many painful memories. I stared at the pale ceiling before my eyes grew heavy.

 

Virgil sat in the middle of the tiny room on the bed with his eyes closed. His chest rose up and down slightly as tears traveled down his face and onto the cold grey sheets.

"Virgil!" I called as I tried to lunge forward but my feet seemed to be stuck in this one spot in the corner.

With a sigh, his eyes opened and stared straight up. His fingers moved, tightening his grip on his shirt. Wait since when does Virgil wear anything red? I looked closer to see that it wasn't a shirt but a sash. My sash, he had kept it with him.

"Why'd it have to end up like this? Why couldn't they just leave me alone? Then I could have finally been happy for once. I could have had you, Roman," he whispered. You still do have me, I thought. My heart hurt as he said my name. I so badly wanted to reach him but I couldn't make my body move. "I'm so sorry Roman. I should have been upfront with all of you. Then none of this would have happened."

"No Virge. It's not your fault. You don't get blame yourself for this one, Emo Nightmare. I should have done more and tried harder. It's..." A knock on the door stopped me cold.

Like a streak, Virgil sat up, wiped his face, and zipped his hoodie all the way up to cover the sash. He slowly opened the door a crack to see who it was before widening it.

"Deceit. It's the middle of the night, what are you doing?" he asked. I could tell that something was wrong by the look on his scaly face. Everything started to go fuzzy as the scene faded away.

 

"Virgil!" I bolted up as I struggled to catch my breath. My thoughts raced. Had my brain just made that up? It had felt almost too real to be a fake. What had Deceit needed to tell Virgil?

With a scream of frustration, I threw my pillow to the ground in front of my bed. The alarm clock on my nightstand told me that it was a bit past eleven. Still enough time to get some more sleep. It was probably just my mind playing tricks on me, I decided as I prepared myself for another long, terrible night.


	24. New Plans, New Worries

"Deceit what's wrong?" He had come barging into my room, not even bothering to knock like usual. His eyes were wide and panicked as his hands fidgeted around the hem of his shirt. He took a few minutes to try and catch his breath. Wherever he had come from he must have run all the way here. I placed my hand on his shoulder to try and calm him down. 

"It's Depression," he gasped out. "He has a plan to go after the main sides." I shook my head. 

"That's not going to happen, Deceit. None of his plans ever work and he would have called another meeting if he thought he had a breakthrough idea," I reasoned. There's no way he could actually be right. Depression couldn't go through any semi-plausible plans for domination, not since Thomas's teenage years. 

"He didn't call a meeting because he didn't want the others to interfere with their bickering. He told me he only holds them so the other think they have some say in what is going on. I'm concerned though, Anx, it sounds like this isn't some crackpot theory. He may be on to something."

Deceit sat down on my bed and stared at his feet. "His power. I didn't see it before but it is growing and he's gaining more control." 

"Thomas. Is Thomas okay?" I demanded. If anything happened to him...

"Thomas is fine. He's not the main concern at the moment. Depression pulls his power from others sorrow and while I'm sure that Thomas feels some of it he isn't the main source."

That was how I had gained enough power to cross the border. Thomas had been going through a stressful time which had continued to build until I was strong enough to transfer over. How else could someone like Depression gain more power? 

"Anxiety, It's Roman." Roman? The ever-confident bravado force that stood for all happy ending and cheerful dreams? Deceit had to be mistaken, there's no way that Roman was........ depressed. I clutched my hands to my sides as my head shook back and forth.

"No, there's no way it can be him. Roman's always happy and confident. No. It can't be. Not him," I muttered. 

"I'm positive it is. He's changed since you left. The last time I visited, I didn't tell you because I didn't think anything of it but he stayed in his room. He doesn't talk to the others, he doesn't eat, all he does is lay in bed. And it's only getting worse." My heart felt like it was beating out of control. Roman. This couldn't be happening, not to my prince. I wouldn't allow it to.

"What can we do? There has to be a way to stop him, right?" I couldn't just stand here while he tore them apart. Not only for the sides but for Thomas. 

"The only way would be to stop his source of power before it became enough to let him cross the barrier. There's no telling what damage he would cause if he made it out." We had to stop his source. Roman. We had to help Roman but we couldn't even get to him.

"Deceit, maybe you can cross for a bit. Then you can disguise yourself as me or something so he'll listen. Tell him that he can't keep this up, tell him what will happen if he does. Then he can get help from Logan and Pat. He could get back to his normal self," I tried. I hated the idea of him thinking it was me but I knew it was the only way to get him to listen.

"Anxiety, I can't. Thomas hasn't told a lie in a little while or at least not a big enough one to send me across, even for a bit. Plus I don't think it's such a good idea. What if I just make it worse by losing my disguise on accident? Then he will never listen. What if it makes it worse when I leave? It will be like you left him twice." There were just too many things that could go wrong. Too many 'what ifs'. I felt my pulse quicken. What choices did we have though?

"We have to try. Please. I'll use what little bit of strength I have to send you through. It should be enough to get you there at least. Go as yourself if it's easier," I tried. They needed to be warned and I so badly wanted to be the one to do it but I knew I couldn't. If I came back so did Thomas's anxiety. And if I saw them.....could I willingly come back? Logan would tell me that it would be most logical if I did but I couldn't do it. Not again. 

"If we are going through with this it needs to be quick, before Depression has a chance," Deceit commented. I glanced around the room looking for anything we would need. Everything that had any value was in my old room and nothing useful to us was in this bare one. I didn't even have my phone anymore. I had left it in the living room after the Disney induced head smacking accident.

"Do you have anything going on tonight?" I asked with a grimace. He smiled and opened the door.

"Nothing at all."


	25. Back to the Barrier

We traveled through the dark streets, walking slowly so we didn't catch anyone's attention. I had my hood up and my bangs hanging in my face in case anyone decided to come outside to the abandoned street. Deceit sauntered around like he owned the place. It wasn't surprising considering his position with the dark sides.

I jumped at every noise and every shadow on each broken down shack. Just being here rose my anxiety a few dozen notches. I didn't like to think about that time but it's all that it reminded me of. Back when I followed Depression. Back when we found Deceit in a dirty alley and befriended him. Back to all the planning and dreaming. To all the sideways glances from Deceit when Depression turned his back and the way he would follow him anywhere. 

Things had changed so much since then, I reminded myself. There was no more dreaming only planning, and Deceit no longer wandered at Depression's side like a lost puppy. I felt sorry for him. Even after all these years of it being unrequited, he still loved my twin. 

"Just past this house," Deceit mumbled. The village used to be farther away but it had been slowly moved; away from the castle and even closer to the dull light from the barrier.

Sure enough, we turned the corner and there it was. The dark glowing wall that seemed to vanish if you looked at it for too long. Like always it took my breath away. I hadn't been this close to it in two years when I had heard Roman's screams as the darkness clouded everything else out. 

"Are you ready?" Deceit asked. I gave a slight nod and slid the sleeve of my hoodie up to expose my hand. Then slowly I placed it on the barrier. It was cold to the touch and sent a tremor through my body. I could feel the raw energy racing through it.

Deceit stepped up beside me and joined his hand next to mine. We met eyes and I nodded to him. I closed my eyes and let the energy start to drain out of me.

"There they are!" Someone yelled. I turned to see several palace guards running towards us. I began to panic. No, we just needed a little longer.

"Deceit," I called. "You need to go through now!" 

"No, Anx. I can't. There's not enough. His hand fell from the surface and the black hand mark faded away. 

"No! We can't give up!" I cried. "Not now." I closed my eyes again and focused on everything I could to the stupid barrier. 

"I'm not giving up, Anx, look. Your hand. It shouldn't be possible but you're doing it," he mumbled. I looked up at my hand which was buzzing with energy. Slowly, like a stain, the barrier became more solid looking and a bright, electric purple.

The barrier had always reacted the same to all the dark sides. It was always black. I had only seen it change like this once when a Light side had touched it.

"Anxiety go!" Deceit yelled.

"No. I can't, Deceit you go," I tried to argue but with rough hands, he hit me in the back and I stumbled forward, through the barrier and clumsily onto the floor before I passed out.


	26. Never Again

"Can I go yet?" Everyone's head turned in my direction. I was sure we had only been brainstorming for an hour or two but it felt like forever and this meeting was getting us nowhere. 

"Are you sure you don't want to put your creative ideas into it? We don't have much so far and could use your help," Thomas tried. Stay here and stay quiet or go to my room where they wouldn't expect me to come up with bland ideas to make the next video enjoyable. In my room I could sleep and forget everything.

"We need to finish this soon. It has been months since our last videos, Roman. The Fanders are getting anx..... inpatient to see what happens," Logan added.

"Can't disappoint the kiddos," Patton exclaimed. I let out a sigh and nodded.

"I can't do anything, my brain is frozen. Nothing good is coming to me at the moment but if anything new is developed I will write it down and make sure you are informed. I just need a break for a bit," I persuaded. 

Logan turned his wrist to check his watch before meeting Patton's eyes. Patton though was oblivious to Logan's obvious attempt at nonverbal communication and turned to me.

"Of course! Take a break. You don't want to exhaust yourself." I glanced over at Thomas as he started humming a Hamilton tune and tried to stay out of the conversation. "You seem so tired lately and could use the sleep, Kiddo. Maybe one of your dreams will give us a better idea for the video." He smiled as Logan nudged his shoulder. 

Without waiting for the Nerd to intercede I pushed my chair out and stood up. I stacked the few blank pieces of scrap paper in front of me and added them to the shrinking pile in the middle of the table. I spun on my heels and headed to my spot by the T.V. before sinking down and entering the Mind.

Finally alone I ran my hands through my hair and cringed at its greasiness. When had I last washed it? When I had taken a shower I was sure I had shampooed and conditioned but when had that been? I knew I should do just that but I didn't feel like it. It seemed like a lot of work when I would just be going to bed.

Deciding that I would deal with hygiene later my feet carried me towards my room. My mind wandered around restlessly. Instead of turning the knob of my dingy white door I kept walking down the hall and turned the corner. I was vaguely aware that I may be getting lost but I didn't care. Maybe I would find a secret entrance to the Dark side and I would catch a glimpse of him. I wondered how I would react after over two years. Did he still love me? No, I couldn't think like that.

A flash of purple light caught my attention and my hand flew to my belt. Then I realized that my sword wasn't on my hip. Where had I left it this time? Maybe in the pile of clothes or had I shoved it in the closet with all the other junk? I wasn't sure.

I crept forward to find the source. The hairs on the back of my neck were on end. A sense of deja vu crashed down on me. When had I been in this part of the Mind? It looked like any other corridor, maybe a little darker but still the same grey walls and winding floors. So why was my stomach churning?

I held my hand up as I turned the corner and was blinded by a bright flash. I squinted trying to see what had caused it when it faded to purple before dimming until it disappeared completely.

Everything clicked together like a puzzle as I saw where I had wandered to. The hallway was ended abruptly by a shadowy, transparent barrier. Through it, I could see the shambles of a village, the same one we had run through that night. The same alley where I had last seen him. As the memories hit I threw my eyes to the floor. 

I gasped as I saw the body. They were on their stomach down. Their face was covered by faded purple bangs and a dark hoodie. Their hand was out, palm up, in my direction as if begging for me to take it.

"Virgil," I whispered. No. That couldn't be possible. He couldn't cross the border because he was a Dark Side. "Virgil," I called, rushing forward. It didn't matter how but he was here, right in front of me.

I gently flipped him over to reveal his lovely face. The same shaggy bangs, the same pale skin and dark circles under his eyes. I let the tears flow freely as I cradled him in my arms and ran my fingers through his hair. I could feel his heart beating in his chest as I hugged him closer, calming one of my fears. He was here and he was alive.

"Virgil. I've missed you so much my Emo Nightmare," I whispered as my tears fell onto him. I needed to get him out of here. I needed to get him to Logan who could tell me what was wrong and help.

I slipped my hands under his knees and at the small of his back, cradling him close to me. He felt lighter than I remembered and colder too. Even through his jacket and jeans, I could feel the chill in his bones.

"Everything's going to be okay. I'm here, Virgil, and I'm never letting you go again," I promised as I made my way back down the grey hallway.


	27. Home Again

I woke up to a blindingly white ceiling. I had to blink the light away as I blinked my eyes rapidly. Why was it so bright? I turned my head to see that I was lying on a bed covered with a red and gold comforter. On the white wall to my left was a bookcase filled to the brim with shiny DVD cases, almost all of them adorned with a familiar logo that belonged to a world-renowned mouse. I bolted up and scanned the rest of the room. No one was allowed to have Disney movies, they had been banned for years because the cheerfulness had bothered Depression. I agreed that some parts were cliche but I still loved them.

Clothes were strung out over the floor, all in shades of red, white, or gold. A flash of metal caught my eyes. Sitting by the nightstand, unsheathed was a sword. Roman's sword. Roman's clothes. Roman's Disney collection. I was in Roman's room.

The plan had worked. Sort of but instead of Deceit coming through he had sent me. What had happened to Deceit though? What would Depression do to him now that he realized that Deceit was a spy? A familiar sense of worry settled in my stomach. I had to fix this, no matter what, for Thomas. As soon as I was done here I would return to help Deceit.

The door started to open and I froze. His eyes were so much better than I remembered, although a little duller. The creative spark had seemed to be missing. Then his eyes met mine and he smiled. I forgot about his unusually messy hair and his slightly stained white t-shirt. He was here and he was real. In seconds he was across the room with his arms around me.

"Virgil," he whispered. I squeezed him back, taking in all of him. Tears started racing down my face.

"Roman," I croaked out. "I thought I'd never see you again." He unlooped his arms from around me and cupped my face in his hands.

"Your an idiot. You should have never tried to save us, you knew he was baiting you." I shook my head.

"There was no other way, Princey and you know it." I closed my eyes and sank into his touch.

"What happened? Over there while you were gone?" he asked. "How did you get back? I thought you couldn't cross the barrier but I found you just laying there."

"Where's Pat and Logan? I want them to hear it too."

"They're with Thomas, I think, down in the living room. We can head down there if you want to." I nodded and started to sit up. I couldn't wait to see Dad again and Logan. I had missed this place so much.

Roman opened the door and I walked out of the room into a familiar hallway. Patton's door, covered in pictures and stickers was there next to Logan's which was dark blue with a technology motherboard sorta print. Then Roman's white one with a golden crown. Curious, I looked down the other way but there was only empty walls.

"My door," I whispered. It wasn't there.

"It disappeared after you did. I've walked almost all the hallways but I could never find it. It's just gone." My door had always wandered wherever it felt like but this time it was completely gone, just like my place here. I cringed but turned the other way to go down to the living room.

 

"Are you sure you're feeling fine, kiddo?" Patton's voice. I ached to see them all again.

"Yes just a little, I don't know, worried." Panic hit me. Thomas was worried. I needed to know what he was worried about so I could come up with scenarios to play out to fix it. Then Logan looked up and his eyes met mine.

"Virgil," he exclaimed. All three of them stood up and turned to Roman and me. Patton raced over and tackled me in a hug. Thomas joined in and Logan stood beside us, reluctant to join in. I reached my hand out and he took it. I pulled him in.

"Kiddo, your awake!"

"I missed you, Pat. And you Logan and Thomas," I gushed. Thomas and Logan pulled away but Patton stayed thoroughly attached. "Uh, Dad. You can let go now." He hung on for a few more seconds before releasing me. Thomas grabbed a pillow off of the couch to clear a spot for me to sit down, which I gratefully accepted.

"Now will you tell us?" Roman asked as he sat down on the floor.

"I, for one, am very curious about how you ended up passed out in the hallway just outside of the barrier," Logan added. My eyes hit the floor as I searched for what to say. Did I start after they left or when the planning to escape had all started? Deceit had told me that Depression was gaining power from Roman but he seemed normal.

"You know how Deceit helped us? We banded together while I was there. We stopped most of Depression's plans, just small things so he wouldn't catch on but Dep revealed to Deceit that he was gaining more and more power. Enough to make his way back here. The plan was for Deceit to come and stop the source but we were confronted," I explained. 

"They caught us at the barrier and everything went wrong. I got sent through instead of Deceit." They all paused as I ended my story.

"What was it?" Logan asked. I turned to him.

"What was what?" 

"The source," Roman explained. I fiddled with the seam of my black jeans, debating on what to say. How would they react? I had to tell them the truth though. Keeping up lies were always hard for me. It heightened my anxiety to a near panic attack level. I had to tell them the truth.

"It's you, Roman. Depression is pulling his power from you."


End file.
